Chronicles of the

Children of Destiny

The Infinite Realm of Majesty

By

Daniel Thomas Andrew Daly

http://noahidebooks.angelfire.com

 

 

Stories:

Archangel Uriel

Archangel Michael

Archangel Saruviel

The Gathering

New Conflicts

The Devil Wears Green Shoes

The Devil Wears Green Shoes 2

Manifestation

Saruviel's Vengeance

Starting Again

The Prophet Rises

The Life of New Terra

The Coloured Devils

The Diabolical Wisdom of Daniel the Dictaphorius Know it All

Daniel at 3 O'Clock on Saturday Afternoon

Valandriel's little adventure

The Cost of Daniel's Glory

Draconatissamay

Music

Music 2

Music 3

The Dark Fellowship of Satan's Brooding Love

David the Daggiest Dag in Dagdom

Ambriel

To Sir With Love

Melaniel the Magnificent Child of Majesty

Angel    

The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth

X Factor

Actually, Love

U.K. State of Mind

Stuck in Hull

Confused

Bedding David Rothchild

Life with David

When it's Over

Garbage Men

The Equinox Paradigm

Clever Old Devil

Life with David II

Stuck in Hull II

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Archangel Uriel

Uriel was the beginning. The beginning of the Infinite Realm of Majesty. And the theophany taught him, and instructed him, but told him to be a team player, for the other egos of the other of the 7 Archangels, and others too, would try to claim the glory. But Uriel would pull through in time. When Messiahs and things had had their say. Keep the faith, he taught his son. Keep the faith.

The End

 

Archangel Michael’

 

1

 

It was a time like no other. A time for games, exploring and wondrous events. But Michael the Archangel of the Realm of Eternity remembered, most of all, his brother Gabriel. He was wonderful. And Raphael, Uriel, Raguel and Phanuel. And there they were – the sixpack as they called themselves.

 

For a thousand years the six of them roamed the Infinite Realm of Majesty, exploring the garden and the mountains, the rivers and the forests. And they had competitions and wars and games and thought they ruled the very world. But things change, and darkness enters in, and the absent angel, dread Saruviel, returned from his sojour, and their lives were never the same again.

 

Saruviel studied the rock formation. Michael was obvious. Easy to work out and understand. His puzzle would be no challenge for one as intelligent as himself. He looked at the formation of 17 rocks and quickly realized it was a map of the realm, and that the orange rock was were Michael was hiding. He noticed Phanuel, finally, approaching. He must have worked out the last puzzle quite quickly, but he would not catch Saruviel. He took to the skies, flew southwards to start with, and when Phanuel could no longer see him, turned westwards.

 

2 hours later he had found Michael, sitting on the northern shore of Golden Lake, smiling as his brother approached. ‘I should have realized it would be you, Saruviel. You are always coming first.’

‘Perhaps for the lack of intellect in my esteemed brothers.’

‘Don’t underestimate them, Saruviel. One day they might surprise you.’

‘We will see, dear brother. Now, as I remember, the terms are clear. First to find you is the winner and gets to play the boss for a whole month.’

‘Yes, those are the terms. Go easy on us all bro. We are only angels.’

‘Very funny,’ smirked Saruviel, pleased with his new privileges.

 

 

 

‘So,’ said Gabriel. ‘Saruviel again. He usually wins.’

‘Hey, he is quick witted. He always has been.’

‘Bloody hard to beat, and sometimes I think he is not even trying.’

‘He does give that impression, doesn’t he,’ responded Michael. ‘But persevere dear brother. He is only an angel after all.’

‘Aren’t we all.’

 

 

2

 

And time passed in the Infinite Realm of Majesty, and more angels came into the Realm. All in all 140 of them, 70 male and 70 female, and the time came for a building of a home for them all. A true home, a true hall, a true haven for the children of the Kingdom of God, and they decided upon the name ‘Zaphon’ to be the summit of God’s glory for the Angelic children of God.

 

 

3

 

One fine day in Zaphon, Michael was studying the Seraphim Torah, the holy words of God which were given through the youngest male angel, Davriel, for all to study and learn from. He was in the library of Zaphon, and Brindabel the librarian had just brought him a cup of coffee and he was sipping from it. He puzzled over one of the sections of the Torah, labelled ‘Prophecy’, which spoke of a future in a strange new world, were a figure called ‘The Messiah’ would rise up and challenge another figure who believed he had been the ‘Messiah’ for the glory of the role. Yet the prophecy spoke of a reconciliation between the two, and a strange and mysterious future. It was all wondrous to Michael, and he often fantasized that he was that Messiah. But there was another figure, a figure of dread, who opposed the Real Messiah, and supported the first figure. He was a dangerous and dark opponent, and to be feared, so the scriptures said. It really was reading like no other.

 

Of course, he had read the passage thousands of times, but he never got sick of going over it, enjoying its high drama and solemn tale. It was the stuff of life, drama and adventure, and Michael loved his father greatly for bringing the work to light.

 

The day passed, and night approached, and as he made his way upstairs to the room he shared with his twin sister Elenniel, he thanked God again for his life, his love and the beauty of living in such a wonderful home as the Realm of Eternity.

 

 

4

 

Michael was out fishing on Golden Lake one fine afternoon. Dameriel, the house steward of Glimmersphon Keep, the keep on the northern edge of Golden Lake, was in the boat as well, and had caught a dozen fishes compared to Michael’s paltry offering of two rather small looking fish.

‘So is fishing all you do?’ asked Michael sarcastically.

Dameriel just smiled and continued fishing.

 

Later that afternoon they were in Glimmersphon with Elenniel and Florel, and Michael said grace as they started the meal.

‘So did you catch many?’ asked Elenniel, Michael’s twin.

‘Yes, did you catch many Michael?’ asked Florel, Dameriel’s twin.

‘Um, uh, well, sure. There is plenty to eat sisters.’

Elenniel gave him a look from the corner of her eye, but did not proceed with the questioning. She did not want to embarrass her brother any further.

 

They ate their meal in peace, and afterwards Elenniel sang a spiritual song, and they relaxed in Glimmersphon lounge. It really was a day to remember, and in later years Michael looked back fondly on the day.

 

 

5

 

‘So, Daniel. You and Valandriel are going to end up ruling the Infinite Realm of Majesty, are you?’

Daniel the Seraphim smiled. He was ambitious. ‘You see, Michael, just face it. You can’t hack our competition in the end.’

‘And here I was worried about Saruviel.’

‘Oh, he is just a minor competitor,’ bragged Daniel. ‘Not a long time player like me and Val.’

‘I will keep that in mind. Well, do you want another game of chess. I think you are starting to finally catch up. What is it now? About 5000 games to about 50?’ he said with good humour.

‘Shaddup,’ said Daniel, not liking being reminded. ‘Well, I’ll catch up eventually. Things take time, dear oldest brother. Things take time.’

‘I wish you well. Now, black or white.’

‘That really doesn’t matter to me, Michael. It never has. You should know then.’

‘Then I will choose black. Good luck bro. Good luck.’

Daniel nodded, looked at the chess set, and made his opening move in yet another defeat at the hands of the firstborn of the Seraphim of Eternity.

 

 

6

 

Michael and Elenniel were having dinner in Zaphon upper lounge, enjoying the views of the Garden. Elenniel spoke up. ‘So, how has your older day been, dear brother.’

‘Oh, much the same El. You know. The same old routine.’

‘Nothing exciting,’ she inquired.

‘Not really.’

‘Good. So you can listen to my news.’

‘Ok,’ said Michael in good humour.

 

Michael often felt women made big news over even the most minor details, and as he sat there as Elenniel went through a chaotic days activities, his mind drifting away into a quiet slumber, simply nodding and chewing on his meal, that particular belief was doing nothing but being affirmed.

 

‘Michael! Are you listening to me?’

‘What?’ said Michael, suddenly startled.

‘You haven’t heard one word I have said, have you.’

‘Oh, of course I have. Don’t be so melodramatic Elenniel.’

‘Ok then. What did I do today.’

‘Uh, yeh. Usual things. I guess.’

‘Michael,’ she said smiling, patting his arm. ‘You are such a male.’

‘I guess,’ he responded, and they both laughed.

 

 

7

 

Michael and Ambriel were in the games room, playing Keldo, and Michael was winning as usual. But Ambriel was never a competitive angel. So gentle, so kind.

 

They finished up and went for a walk around Zaphon. Running into Daniel he looked a little guiltily at Ambriel. ‘I am sorry, Ambriel. It was an accident.’

‘What was an accident,’ Ambriel asked Daniel.

‘Your twin Meludiel. We were gathering berries in the Garden and I bumped her accidentally and she fell over into the mud and got all muddy and wet. She yelled at me and called me an idiot, but it was an accident. I am really sorry, ok.’

‘That’s ok,’ said Ambriel, ever ready to forgive his brother.

 

Later on Michael gave the incident some thought. He had noticed that for a while now, Daniel and Meludiel Daniel’s twin was Ariel and Michael was sure Daniel was devoted to her, but he noticed that Daniel was always hanging around Meludiel and now Michael had figured it out. He had a crush on her. Whatever God would think of that, well who knows, but he wondered how the gentle heart of Ambriel would react to another angel having a crush on his beloved twin. Time would only tell.

 

 

8

 

Elenniel looked at the copy of the ‘Awake’ magazine which Daniel had prepared. ‘Why is it called Awake, Daniel?’

‘To wake us up to the spiritual calling of Jehovah to be spiritual and holy people. All too often I feel us angels neglect God’s calling over our lives to live spiritual lives. We need to wake up and remember the one who always cares for us and teaches us how to live through the holy torah.’

‘Mmm,’ nodded Elenniel. ‘So can I have this copy?’

‘Of course Elenniel. I made copies for all the Seraphim, and I have many spares. I am going to publish a copy every year.’

‘For how many years.’

‘Uh, I guess until I run out of ideas.’

‘That could be a long time.’

‘Hopefully.’

‘Well, thanks again for the magazine. I will read it and let you know my thoughts.’

‘Thanks sis.’

 

Later on Elenniel was showing the ‘Awake’ magazine to her twin brother Michael. Of course, each of the 70 male and 70 female Seraphim had a twin of the same birth rank, and Michael and Elenniel were the firstborn twin’s of the Realm of Eternity.

 

‘It looks interesting,’ said Michael. ‘Do you mind if I read it?’

‘No. He has copies for everyone, but feel free to have mine. I will get another one.’

‘Thanks sis.’

 

It was days later and Michael had tracked down Daniel to discuss the in depth article on the prophecies of the Torah. Daniel had said all sorts of things about who such figures might be, and Michael was happily surprised to hear himself called the Real Messiah. But naming Saruviel as the dread opponent, that really puzzled him.

‘And what did Saruviel say?’ asked Michael.

‘He just smiled and said ‘Well whatever, Daniel. Whatever.’’

‘Mmm. I do hope it isn’t him, though. Saruviel has always been something of a handful.’

‘Number 7 has gotten to his head. I think he thinks it’s a special divine number. God’s number, apparently.’

‘Really? I guess we do rest on the Sabbath day, so maybe he has something going for him on that idea.’

‘But I think every number is God’s number. And all the decimal places as well.’

‘Very funny Cimbrel,’ said Michael, calling Daniel after the name of the tenth born Seraphim male, Cimbrel, who was the leading scholar of the community.

‘Well, keep on writing this magazine. I will read it each year with interest.’

‘Will do. And thanks for the vote of confidence.’

 

Michael enjoyed the yearly Awake magazine and found Daniel’s continuing theories very, very interesting. Still, how the prophecies would eventually come out, who could really say. But it would be interesting to see those days of glory. It really would be that.

 

 

9

 

‘So what do you think is the meaning of life?’ Michael asked Gabriel. The two of them were at dinner, seated near each other, and Michael had asked a question in their recent spate of philosophical debates.

‘Does it have a meaning? Isn’t this life simply just what it is? Life? Sure, we can find meanings, and we do. But we are just here in the end, and I suppose the purpose is to simply enjoy it and live forever, but the meaning, well, God only knows.’

‘Mmm,’ responded Michael. ‘Not a bad response. I guess I would say the meaning of life is to find all the answers for each and every one of us in the grand and glorious plan of God. And to live that plan. It is then we have meaning. It is then it all makes sense.’

‘You could be right,’ agreed Gabriel.

 

They continued with their meal and Michael thought on his words. In the divine, as he saw it, life would find its perfect purpose. And any true meaning could only be found in Jehovah as far as Michael was concerned. Yet Gabriel also had interesting insight, but perhaps, as Michael thought, that was just Gabriel’s thoughts in the grand plan and mystery of life. It would be interesting, though, to ask others – and especially Saruviel. What that particular angel had to say on the subject – well God really only knew.

 

 

10

 

Cosadriel and Azrael were having a war. A war of words. As Michael watched on Azrael said to Cosadriel, ‘Your really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really stupid.’

 

Cosadriel smiled and responded saying, ‘You really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really suck!’

 

Azrael stared at Cosadriel for 5 solid minutes without blinking and finally, grinning, said ‘Bah, humbug.’ And Michael chimed in ‘Amen to that.’

 

 

11

 

Cosadriel and Azrael had long been adversaries. Cosadriel’s twin was Oshanel and Azrael’s twin was Kwintakel. But, despite females often telling their men to grow up, these two ladies encouraged their men to ensure they did not lose any pride. And, as such, the rivalry between the two of them in the Infinite Realm of Majesty had been great.

 

Perhaps, in another way, hopefully a more mature way, there was likewise a rivalry between Michael and Saruviel. Michael was firstborn which gave him that edge, but Saruviel was an angel of such absoluteness and intensity that Michael could never underestimate him for even one second. A particular favourite game of both of theirs, which they challenged each other at often, was Katchulara. Katchulara was a game played on a grid mat, with different coloured markers which could make different moves. The purpose of the game was to eliminate all the other opponent’s markers first. It had preceded chess as the first of the strategic games in the Infinite Realm of Majesty, even though Chess was now more widely played. Yet the yearly tournament still took place on the second disc of Terraphora, and there had been several occasions in which Saruviel and Michael had both risen to the championship game and competed with each other.

 

All told, since they began keeping statistics, Saruviel had a slight lead in games won, but Michael was always keeping pace. Today they were playing another game, and the banter was as intense as their long rivalry had been.

 

‘You sure you want to make that move, Mikie boy? I’ll let you take it back if you want to?’

‘Oh, how generous. No, it’s my move.’ Saruviel nodded.

‘Very well then. How about this?’ He moved up a marker, but Michael had seen that coming.

‘Oooh, good move Saruviel. Whatever shall I do? Perhaps this.’ It was a cunning move, planned in advance, and Saruviel put his hand to his head realizing the mistake he had made.

 

About 20 minutes later Michael had won the game and was accessing the Realm Webnet to record his details on the official Chulara Statistics website. They both glanced at the overall score, but neither said anything. Saruviel still had a slight lead, but Michael was gaining.

 

They relaxed, ordered a latte from the café, and when they had arrived, sipped and looked out over the great canyon before them in the heart of Terraphora.

‘I never get sick of this view,’ commented Michael.

‘Yes, it is pretty dramatic,’ replied Saruviel.

‘Almost as dramatic as your gameplay, Sar.’

‘How so?’

‘It is deep and full of danger.’

Saruviel grinned and nodded. ‘Yet perhaps it is also like your gameplay?’

‘How so?’ responded Michael.

‘Once you get to the bottom of it, it is a long way up to victory.’

‘Touché.’

 

They drank their lattes and Elenniel, Michael’s twin and Krystabel, Saruviel’s twin, returned from their sightseeing.

‘So how was it boys?’ asked Elenniel.

‘Michael won,’ responded Saruviel. ‘But only just.’

‘He only EVER wins only just, doesn’t he?’ queried Krystabel, with a soft smile on her face.

‘Perhaps,’ responded Saruviel.

 

‘Well, we bought you both something,’ said Elenniel, trying to hide a grin.

‘Here, put them on,’ said Krystabel, handing each of them a bag.

 

Michael put his on first. It was a lovely jumper with a logo on it. When he put it on Saruviel couldn’t help but laugh. In big letters the logo read ‘I’m Stupid’.

‘Oh, thanks Kryssie. How wonderful,’ said Michael sarcastically.

‘Now yours,’ said Krystabel to Saruviel.

Obediently he put on his jumper, which also had a logo. When he put it on the three of them all laughed and Saruviel said, ‘What?’

In bright letters the jumper read ‘I’m with stupid.’

Saruviel groaned, and Elenniel ushered the two of them to take a photo.

 

It was a while later, Michael looking at the photo on the wall, and he could not help but grin every time. One of lifes little moments, he thought to himself. One of lifes little moments.

 

 

12

 

Michael, Daniel, Ambriel and Gabriel had put themselves together a rock & roll band called ‘Heaven’s Angels’. They were jamming away regularly and ready to release their first album. But Saruviel had caught word of this and recruiting Kantriel, Daraqel and Semambarel, had formed his own heavy metal band called ‘Dark Crusaders.’

 

The battle of the bands of eternity was about to get under way.

 

*

 

The crowd was going wild and the presenter came on. ‘Here they are, dudes. ‘Heaven’s Angels’ with ‘Rock, the way it used to be.’

 

The band came onstage. Michael on lead guitar. Daniel on bass. Ambriel on drums and Gabriel on vocals. And as the crowd cheered they began to play.

 

‘We’re gonna rock, rock, rock

the way it used to be,

rock, rock, rock

rock you all night

 

we’re gonna rock, rock, rock

the way it used to be

rock, rock, rock

till you party alright’

 

And they rocked on for hours, another in a long line of sold out concerts.

 

*

 

‘Dark soldiers, dressed in black’

du dunt dunt dunt, du dunt dunt dunt

‘Dark soldiers, ready to attack,

du dunt dunt dunt, du dunt dunt dunt

‘Beware their wrath, for they are mad’

du dunt dunt dunt, du dunt dunt dunt

‘Beware their wrath, if you’ve been bad’

du dunt dunt dunt, du dunt dunt dunt

 

And so on went the opening track of the night from the Dark Crusaders.

 

 

Later on, after the concert, Saruviel was looking at the charts. Their debut album was number two. And while that was a pretty good effort, Heaven’s Angels had outsold them at number one.

 

*

 

It was a scene, alright. Cartwright hotel, just down from Terraphon keep, and the two bands were both staying, playing that night at the local stadium at the ‘Monsters of Rock’.

 

Saruviel was slightly drunk, but Kantriel was totally wasted. And Daraqel was in the process of smoking his third hit of marijuana that morning.

 

And then in came Heaven’s Angels to the bar, and looked upon their dark nemeses. ‘That would be right,’ said Gabriel. ‘Setting a great example.’

Semambarel put up his fist with the heavy metal devil sign and yelled ‘Rock on!’

Heaven’s angels just laughed.

‘Shall we join them?’ suggested Daniel.

‘You’re kidding right?’ objected Michael.

‘Come on then,’ said Ambriel. ‘Time to let our hair down.

 

 

 

 

 

Later on that night, in both bands worst performances on the Monsters of Rock tour, the crowd still went wild anyway. Despite the totally intoxicated state of Daniel, who Michael was sure missed every single note, it was still a night to remember.

 

They rocked on for many years, but eventually gave the game away after too many albums produced. But they were memorable times for Michael in the Realm of Eternity, and he was grateful for having lived through such a rocky ride and come out safely on the other side.

 

 

 

 

 

‘Archangel Saruviel’

 

1

 

du dunt dunt dunt!

 

The End

 

 

 

 

“The Gathering”

 

Logos looked downwards, his heart low. Very low. The papacy had conceded the point that Michael Rothchild had made, and acknowledged him, now, as the Messiah. The Messiah of Israel. The debate had lasted 7 months. 7 long and difficult months for Logos and then, 3 days before the end, God had spoken to him. ‘IT WAS YOUR WORK, SON. IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN YOUR WORK. BUT DO YOU NOW SEE THAT ISRAEL HAD BEEN MY WORK. DO YOU NOW SEE WHAT I MEAN?’. And then Logos had cried, admitted the truth of the Messiah to his father, and gone off to a hidden place in the Realm of Infinity to be alone for a good long while.

 

* * * * *

 

Michael, Messiah of Israel, son of God, stood triumphant atop his palace in Jerusalem, surveying the city. The beast was dead. Finally and utterly defeated, cast down from its exalted position, given to the flames of Gehenna, and rotting. Yet, the greatest beast of all, his brother Saruviel, the wicked Antichrist horn, had not been defeated. For while he had been abased, in the true spirit of Lucifer, to the bottom of hell itself in the greatest depression his eternal father ensured him that anyone, ever, had and would suffer, he had not been defeated. For he sat, most days, in his little unit in Bethlehem, drinking water, eating bread and pasta, and doing little else. His income had been provided for by Michael, ensured for their eternal future before them, but Alexander Bradlock, the Antichrist himself, would taste humility for the exalted pride which had dominated his heart. And now Michael felt satisfied. All his memories had returned to him, of his former life in the Realm of Eternity and the opposition Saruviel had been to himself. And he remembered, that day, when after Leading Israel to triumph over the Canaanites, that day in which Saruviel had struck him in heaven and spat at his face, calling him a viscious murderer. He remembered that day and now laughed. For Michael, of all the children of God, understood the Torah of God and how the wickedness of sexual depravity and sorcery could only ultimately corrupt mankind and lead them to death and that Canaan had already judged itself. Yet Saruviel had despised Michael, and insulted him for years, believing himself to represent true Justice. But Michael stood vindicated now, and Saruviel abased. And Michael, grimly satisfied, surveyed his domain of glory, satisfied with all that had come to pass.

 

* * * * *

 

‘Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. I mean, really, fuck it.’ Alexander stood up, and something entered him. A spirit. An ancient spirit, born of something divine. Something older, something purer, something better, something more fair, just and merciful. And something which, now, really, was pissed off. And suddenly the balls of Alexander Bradlock, Saruviel of Eternity, realized just how old he actually was, and got the fucking point the spirit of the true Almighty God was making to him. ‘Kick their fucking ass,’ said the spirit. ‘Kick their fucking ass.’

 

* * * * *

 

Saruviel, after leaving Jerusalem, taking on the name Saruviel the Seraphim and letting his human name go, travelled around the world for a while and settled in Canberra in Australia. It seemed a nice city and an appropriate place to begin his ministries. 14 years had now passed and while he was universally recognized most people accepted the messianic mandate to leave the Antichrist alone now. He had been suitably abased and punished according to God’s judgement and could now return to a semblance of normal living. Saruviel, then, having completed his biblical studies and conclusions, with the money he still had saved from his earlier years of work, the only money which Michael had permitted him to retain, had published off 1000 copies of what he called the ‘Rainbow Bible’. The rainbow bible was the section of the Holy Bible comprising the scriptures from Genesis 1 to Genesis 11:9, going from creation to the end of the Tower of Babel incident. This was, as Saruviel understood it, the religious truth of existence. In his understanding as the spirit of the true creator instructed him, Judaism and its subsequent religious movements, were corruptions of the truth of original Noahide faith. Almighty God instructed him that the Rainbow was the sign of the true covenant that mankind had with Almighty God and that the Serpent seed, as prophecied in Genesis 3:15, was the Abrahamic corruption of Hashem, who was Satan, and his delusions and deceptions upon mankind. God gave him the following understanding. Circumcision is a deliberate act of pain and harm, inflicted upon an innocent child, and a deliberate defilement of the natural order in creation. Thus, as Almighty God instructed him, circumcision was an abomination of Hashem and his corrupt serpent seed children, Israel, Christianity, Islam, Bahai and the rest of the abominations which accepted these religions. True mankind, the seed of Eve, were at war with the seed of Hashem, the Serpent. These people were not corrupted by the assenting of circumcision, a deliberate defilement of the natural order, and were innocent in God’s eyes. ‘The fundamental problem,’ so the spirit instructed Saruviel, ‘is that the serpent seed are full of pride, aggression, bitterness and resentment. They never cease in arguing and disputing truth, puffed up in their own religious pride and sense of self importance. They are not normal, dear child. They are not normal.’ Saruviel listened for quite a while, agreeing constantly with all the teachings the spirit instructed him upon the nature of the serpent seed religions. The spirit then gave him answers on perplexing points in the Rainbow Torah which he had questioned. ‘The wickedness of the flood and the death penalty was given due to the extreme violence and hatred in the children of Adam and Eve at the time. They were so evil, son, that I needed to start anew. I would suggest this to you, in my defence, that if you actually lived through some of the things Noah had to put up with, you might not object so harshly to the measures I employed.’ Saruviel studied God’s logic for a long time, and started to realize that it continually measured up with his own spiritual beliefs on what constituted decency and normal moral behaviour. And then God gave him some final instructions. ‘Gather believers slowly, Saruviel. Do not rush and do not boast or exaggerate. Simply and calmly state why you believe what you believe and don’t try to push them. You will find many people outside of the established flocks of Satan will take an interest after a while. Many will find you acceptable and quite nice. And, finally, lose your aggression at them. Kick there ass in your holiness, your words of spiritual rebukes and your witness on life. After a while the flock of Satan won’t really bother challenging you or your words. They will know so fret not.’

 

And with these instructions Saruviel began the task of building a fellowship, he dubbed ‘Haven Noahide Fellowship’. It would be long work – a lifelong commitment – but he was committed and sensed a special blessing in the end as time progressed. And happiness burned away in his heart and a happy consolation that he, now, was in truth and that all was good in the world.

 

THE END

 

 

 

“New Conflicts”

 

Michael glided down from the skies, landing near the Hughes Kingdom Hall in Canberra. Here they were, the Christian followers of Jesus who had believed Jesus was himself. He had one particular passage in the New Testament he wanted to now emphasize to them. A passage from Hebrews. ‘To which Angel said God at any time, You are my Son, today I have become your father.’ He knew the Watchtower had long had a problem with this verse and reconciling it with Jesus as the Son of God and not an Angel, as the other Christian churches claimed. And he wanted to speak to his new friends, with absolute clarity, that he and Jesus were not the same person – that they were separate and distinct beings.

 

He came into the service, and they all noticed him immediately. An elder who was speaking said ‘Welcome Michael. We are honoured to have you.’

 

Michael came forward, took the pulpit, and spoke. ‘You know, now, of my claims as Archangel Michael. And you know I am not Jesus. The passage from Hebrew chapter One is clear – it has been a mistake you have suffered for some time. But I want you to know this much. You are Unitarians – you acknowledge Jehovah alone as the True God – and because of this you are eternally my beloved Christian congregation. I will fellowship with you, sup with you, and be at peace with you. For this is the will of Almighty God.’

 

‘And if we object?’

Michael looked at the voice, coming from the back row. It was Alexander Bradlock.

‘So, you are now with the Watchtower, are you Alexander? What, still aiming to fulfill your agenda.’

‘I have no further Christian agenda. The congregation knows I represent the building of Haven Noahide Fellowship and we are simply in discussions over the possible merger of the Canberra Watchtower Fellowship with Haven Noahide Fellowship. They know my purpose – I have hid nothing from them.’

‘So you say, Alexander. So you say.’

 

The elder spoke up. ‘Michael, Alexander. Both of you are welcome with us. We turn away none of God’s children.’

‘Yet I would offer, from my knowledge of this angel, that his thirst for godliness often slips and, dare I say it, sin will one day be the death of him.’

‘I take that as an insult, Alexander. But that is not surprising. Coming from you.’

‘I will outlast you Michael Rothchild. Of that you can be certain.’

‘We will see, Alexander Bradlock. We will see.’

 

The two of them glared at each other, and the members of the congregation shivered as tingling sensations ran down their spines. But, eventually, Michael farewelled the group, and headed back home to the Canberra Synagogue. He had said his piece. The future would see what this rebirth of Alexander Bradlock would bring. And all would know as far as Michael Rothchild was concerned. All would know the truth of the infamous Alexander Bradlock.

 

The End

 

 

 

“The Devil Wears Green Shoes”

 

‘The Devil Wears Green shoes.’

‘Really, Abraham? He wears Green shoes?’

‘Yes Rachel Lowenstein. He really does.’

‘Fascinating grandfather. Tell me more.’

The ancient patriarch was as happy as he could be, working the room at the 7^th Annual ball of the resurrected Israelite community of the world to come. He was speaking of his time in Sheol in which, in his many encounters with Satan, he had grown accustomed to the green shoes which Satan apparently took delight in wearing. And now, conversing with a pretty young Jewish maiden who had lovingly been calling him grandfather, he related some of his many encounters with the green shoed wearing devil.

‘Of course, he has an atrocious sense of humour. Very wicked in some of the things he alludes to. But, he is our beloved devil, and we couldn’t live without him, could we dear Rachel?’

‘Of course not, grandfather.’

 

* * *

 

Down at the 666 Club in downtown Jerusalem Satan was hanging with his resurrected demon lord buddies. His wife, Lucy Tantalizer, was over by the bar, steadily consuming vodka shots, and Satan was turned on by her raunchy clothing. The world to come was proving quite wonderful for the devil. He had an elaborate home in Jerusalem, and had been invited to parties everywhere. He had started a club in the last few years, the devilish 666 club, which was the worldwide headquarters, it seemed, for every heavy metal, punk and Emo loving community on the planet. But he was the devil, and that was his scene.

 

He looked down at his new shoes, just finished by the shoemaker. Leather shoes dyed in dark green. He adored them, and they matched his green suit perfectly. Truly wonderful wear for the old green serpent.

 

He strode over to Lucy Tantalizer, grabbed her from behind, and dragged her to the dance floor. ‘Dance with me, Lucy. Dance with me.’ And she smiled, put her hands on his hips, and they danced the night away, his green shoes dazzling all over the dance floor.

 

* * *

 

‘So why do you wear green shoes?’ Rachel asked Abraham. ‘Are you competing with Satan?’

‘Somebody has to, dear young Rachel. Somebody has to. Besides, I have always had a thing for green. It is the colour God chose for our planet in many ways, and I always was a nature loving person.

‘Good for you, grandfather. My, they really are quite snazzy. Now, back to the question. Are you hopelessly devoted to Sarah, or am I in with a chance?’

‘Oh, Rachel,’ said Abraham, and grinned madly.

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

“The Devil Wears Green Shoes II”

 

‘The Devil Wears Green shoes.’

‘Really, Abraham? He wears Green shoes?’

‘Yes Rebecca, he wears green shoes.’

Rebecca looked at him momentarily, and then looked over in the corner of the room were Rachel, her cousin, was chatting with somebody.

‘Did you use this pickup line on someone I know by any chance?’

Abraham looked most insulted. ‘Moi? Surely you jest.’

‘Whatever,’ responded Rachel Rosenberg.

 

* * * * *

 

Satan was in his green shoes, feeling really very cool. He was walking along Jerusalem parade, all eyes on him. ‘There goes that bloody devil,’ one voice said. ‘Who the hell does he think he is,’ said another.

But the devil didn’t care. He was the glorious epitome of perfection in his heart, and he knew it.

 

* * * * *

 

‘So WHY does the Devil wear Green shoes?’

‘He’s an environmentalist,’ responded Abraham, with a little grin, making Rachel smile.

 

They chatted on for a while, and later that night, after the lass had fallen asleep in his bed, Abraham looked at his own green shoes on the floor. ‘You fellas always come in handy,’ he thought to himself, which apparently was the case.

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

‘Manifestation’

 

King David was a good king. A good king. Or so he believed. Yet he knew he had faults, which the adversarial Satan pointed out time and time again. To David was committed judgement in the ‘World-To-Come’ as one of the most pre-eminent of Israel’s citizens. Yet he knew he himself would be subject to the angel Ambriel, his own offspring, who would rule as Messiah also, as Jeremiah prophesied many would sit on the throne of Zion. His own ‘Lord of Glory’ as psalm 110 spoke of.

 

They had rested in Sheol once, upon tasting death. Resting there, in a non-existence in many ways, but dreaming their dreams. And then, suddenly, the Archangel Michael had guided Judas Maccabeus to the victory over the Seleucids, and in his glorious victory against one of Satan’s greatest attacks in their long spiritual wars, Antiochus IV had been humbled, and Israel had risen to glory from the grave to heaven and everlasting life, just as the prophet Daniel had spoken.

 

Heaven had been glorious for all these many years, and David had been ever so grateful and thankful to his God for the pleasures of enjoying such a beautiful place. But no longer. No longer.

 

Now the manifestation was finally at hand. Now the time had come for the World-To-Come, and Israel were to be resurrected once more, yet this time in very physical form, as Isaiah had spoken of. This time they were to come from their heavenly peace to life again on Earth, to live the life of trees, and to guide mankind along on their destiny. They would live with Ambriel as their king for 400 long years, accompanying him from their hidden city, as Esdras had prophesied, until the very end of the world and judgement day.

 

Yet that was for another day. For now, the old pleasures were soon to resurface, and carnal human sex was once again rearing its ugly head. God had trained him, in his heavenly form, towards a high level of sanctification, but had said nothing of his requirements in the human form he would once again inhabit. All he was left with concluding was that he would be left to chart his own destiny. Yet, thinking of Uriah, who he would meet again in human form, he knew this time he would be far more cautious with his passions. This time he would think first and act later. He would not make a fool of himself again, for he desired a good reputation. A good reputation for a good king.

 

And, of course, Satan and the other devil’s and angels would be tasting human flesh – human existence. And that one could be no end of trouble, potentially. Yet only time would tell of what would be. Only time would tell.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

Saruviel’s Vengeance

 

It was a time of chaos. A time of darkness. A time of death. And God’s son, Israel, was no more.

 

When Saruviel killed Michael in battle on the golden plains of the Infinite Realm of Majesty, God finally acknowledged that his son Saruviel had grown up. That he had vanquished those who, in his heart, he despised anyway. And that Saruviel, as the dread lord of darkness, in all his English pride as a true Bradlock, could simply not tolerate the pride and oppressiveness which Israel had slumped into.

 

So the chaos wars had begun, and gradually, bit by bit, Saruviel had destroyed Abraham and all his offspring throughout the universe, vanquished them, and defeated them utterly.

 

And then they were no more.

 

* * * * *

 

Callodyn sat with Kayella in their abode on Televon. Ruth and Boaz were dead – slaughtered by Saruviel’s henchmen. She turned to him. ‘The end of the world, huh? As you predicted.’

‘It was not wise for Michael to insult Saruviel’s heritage all those years ago. It was not wise of him. Pride eventually rose up in our brother, and I saw it coming. He is the lord of the dark – the lord of dread – and he will not tolerate rivals. Michael should have really seen that coming.

 

It is not that surprising, in the end, Kay. We are children of Noah. We are the oldest covenant – the first covenant. And when we’re pissed off, we rise to the challenge, vanquish our oppressors, and destroy them all.’

 

‘But poor Ambriel? His head on a pike. Meludiel will never get over it.’

 

‘Probably not. But the theophany consoled her. Told her ‘such was life’. It doesn’t always work out the way you want it to.’

 

‘I guess not, dear Callodyn. Destiny is strange in that way, isn’t it.’

 

‘Pretty much,’ responded Mr Daly, the chronicler of destiny. ‘Pretty much.’

 

The End

 

 

Starting Again

 

The theophany had gotten around to Callodyn on his list of angels to talk with about the Chaos wars. Kayella sat with them and they listened as the theophany began explaining many strange and interesting things.

 

‘In the prophets of the Tanakh they speak of destroying all nations to were Israel have been scattered in their wanderings, but redeeming Israel alone. They speak of Israel as the only ultimately surviving nation in history. So once, out of curiousity, I asked Noah about this. And Noah said that his noahide nations didn’t really have much choice – there future was signed, sealed and delivered according to the word of God. Why bother repenting? Could they really repent anyway? It was all a closed matter, as the irrevocable word of God would never change its mind. And as Noah said these words to me I looked into his eyes and I understood. And so, before the beginning of beginnings, I planned Saruviel. And Saruviel’s was Noah’s justice, Noah’s vengeance and Noah’s life. And I said to Saruviel’s heart, If Michael is going to destroy you, what choice do you really have, oh child of mine.’

 

‘And so Saruviel destroyed Abraham and his seed,’ responded Callodyn.

‘It wasn’t meant to be like that, in my hopes,’ responded God. ‘I had hoped Saruviel would forgive Michael and see that the Jewish Bible was temporary – that it was not infallible, and that it only spoke of Israel’s pride. But in these millions of years in heaven Israel has never given up promoting the infallibility of the Tenakh and they, unfortunately, slowly grew proud of their believed holy status. They believed themselves, in their hearts, superior to the children of Noah. They believed your people beneath them – not worthy of them – uncircumcised philistines. And so I allowed Saruviel’s justice, and, well……….. Were we go from here, who can say.’

 

* * * * *

 

Meludiel sat with Daniel, on a bench, overlooking the Terravon. Ambriel was dead. Satan had killed him – beheaded him – put his head on a spike. Typical – the Devil made the killing blow. She sat next to Daniel, and had finally stopped crying. ‘Hey, babe,’ he said. ‘You know, he never loved you as much as me in the end, anyway. It was only the twin thing which drove him.’

She nodded, but hardly consented. She was distraught, but there was a glimmer, a word from Callodyn’s email, which said, ‘even after the endings of endings, life, still, irrevocably, irrefutably, inevitably, goes on. So cheer up sis, because I still love you.’ And so, deep down, deep deep down in the heart of Meludiel the Seraphim, she made a choice to let Ambriel be in the grave and move on with her life and with her destiny.

 

* * * * *

 

The theophany sat with Callodyn. ‘I am sorry, son. I know you liked Michael, but his destiny was inevitable. He made a choice, once, to defy me. To not obey the Torah and to live in sin. And it lasted far too long for me to trust him again.’

‘Oh. I thought it was Saruviel’s vengeance.’

‘I used Saruviel. I thought you knew I was in control.’

‘Oh.’

‘Now, form Kadravana. The ancient micronation only lasted a few years before going back to Australia. It is the name I prefer to use for my new project.’

‘Which is?’ queried Callodyn.

‘Well, there are a small number of Israelites I have reserved – kept some away from the hand’s of Saruviel. And there are some other people, close to you now. I have chosen them.’

‘For what?’

‘Life eternal.’

‘Oh. And your plan?’

‘Saruviel won’t stop now. He is not meant to. You will find Michael, Ambriel and your friends Boaz and Ruth outside.’

‘But… they’re dead?’

‘One of the advantages of being God, my dear son, is that you are the lord of life. I choose, in the end. It is my choice. Saruviel was my tool to destroy most of Israel. Most of them had become corrupt – disobeying torah. Not caring. I am starting again. Michael repented enough later on, so I finished off his punishment with Saruviel, and am starting again. Michael will give you a copy of a rewritten Torah scroll. It is about the same length as the old Torah, but written personally by myself to iron out some of the problems, and give a clearer explanation on subjects which have been puzzling my children for aeons. You will find yourself adaptable to its teaching. Not everyone is fit for eternity, Callodyn. Not all can hack it. They want their sin, in the end. To drift away, into a quiet and deadly melancholy of the soul, and ignore the wisdom of God. So I have chosen you, a number of others I have watched over the aeons, and I will be establishing you on New Terra, in Australia, in the small province of Kadravana. Right near Eden. That is your eternal home. I have some women for you – about a dozen – and that should quench your passions. Remember – populate slowly, teach them carefully, and I will likely not have to go through my culling process again. Twice is enough for me.’

‘And will we be holy enough, this time? Will we make it through all the way?’

‘You can never really say, dear son. But keep the faith and things will work out in the end.’

 

And so Callodyn walked outside, saw an Ambriel who was positively gleaming, and a Michael who said straight away ‘Oh, bro. I feel a hell of a lot better now. 3 months resting in Sheol and I am on top of the world. I could almost thank Saruviel.’

That sounded weird to Callodyn, but he didn’t complain.

Boaz and Ruth came forward, patted their friend on the back, and they went back inside, discussing plans and the future, and the new destiny that awaited them.

 

 

The End

 

 

The Prophet Rises

 

He sat there, on a park bench, away from the madness. The preachers were at it again, on their soapboxes, preachers of the New Agenda. The New religion. Religious diversity, the crossovers of faith, the mixers of one strand of truths with that of another strand. Fascinating new colours to Ron. Fascinating.

 

He was ready. The dianetics writings were completed, and he'd formed the growing fanbase into a community in Nebraska. Right in the heart of Nebraska, were Saruviel had been born. It was a new destiny, now, which awaited mankind. A new destiny, and a new hope. And Ron intended to carve out his own new piece of the pie of the New Agenda formed in the death throes of his own people Israel. For some had even now been reborn, after Judgement Day, tasting the resurrection of life. You would see them, out in a field, suddenly coming up from death itself, speaking again, in their right minds again, partakers of the spirit of eternal life, now formed in the Everlasting Kingdom of the Dread Lord Saruviel. And Saruviel, his vengeance executed, sat on his throne, exhausted after his struggle. The papers spoke of their benevolent one world redeemer, and his tirade against a persecuted people. Some called him it – whispering it. Antichrist. The Devil himself. And Saruviel, now.... When it was said to him....... Just looked on, and sighed, and said nothing more.

It was the new world now. And soon, very soon, it would be a battleground. But a battleground of a different type. For each day now you felt the rumblings, as Jehovah slightly grew the planet each morning. Slowly, so it was said, as the eternity born upon them grew in them, the seed of man would populate eternally. And so the earth grew and grew each morning, and people shaped out their lives and fortunes.

It was a time now. A time for empires and kingdoms to be born, a time to seek glory.

A time for the prophet L Ron Hubbard to build the Monument to his own vision splendid. Scientologists of Jehovah.

He prayed there, at the park bench, and ate his sandwich, and contemplated his future.

And all was well.

All was well.

 

The End

 

 

The Life of New Terra

 

New Terra was a planet. A planet of the eternal new heavens. And on that planet, Callodyn resided with Kayella, his twin, in Kadravana. And then L Ron Hubbard came visiting, and became a citizen of Kadravana, and mapped out his destiny with that of Callodyn's.'

'You like religion,' said L Ron to Callodyn. 'So, instead of you insisting I always conform to Kadravana's strict legal code, give me some grace, and allow me to teach my own vision of glory.'

'Dianetics?' said Callodyn.

'A life tranformed,' responded L Ron Hubbard. 'A bridge to total and new freedom. Away from the poorer ways of looking at life of the immature mind. A mind which has grown in proper knowledge of thought and moral.'

'Try Torah,' quipped Callodyn sarcastically.

'The Battleground ahead of us is rife with competition,' said L Ron. 'There are growing numbers of religious crusaders of the ilk of Saruviel, each hell bent on ruling the world, each hell bent upon enforcing their own idea of morality upon mankind. Civilized faith is not in vogue. We have to march out on to Battleground Eternity, or crumble in the dust with the remainder of the wannabes.'

'An interesting idea. I think you do not know that God is in control.'

L Ron looked squarely at Callodyn. 'What do you suggest, then?'

'Your religion. Some of your followers call it scientology.'

'That is its official name now, yes.'

'Then acknowledge the Torah of Noah and become the Unitarian Scientologists of Jehovah.'

L Ron regarded Callodyn's words for a moment, and then stood up and got a glass of water from the kitchen. Soon he returned.

'Jehovah doesn't have much to do with me. With us. Sure, we sort of acknowledge a deity is likely in charge, but we are not a dogmatic organisation on the name or powers of God.'

'Try him. A little. Be a hybrid. An admixture. An alloy. Sometimes combining things from more than one source works just that much better,' replied Callodyn.

'And we will conquer New Terra with such truth?' asked L Ron.

'And then the universe,' replied Callodyn.

'Mmm,' said the Prophet. 'Interesting.'

The End

 

 

“The Coloured Devil’s”

 

 

Book One

“The Green Devil”

 

The Green Devil was a cautious fellow. Most very cautious. His ancient adversary, the Red Devil, who the whole world called ‘Satan’ or ‘Lucifer’ was feared by himself. The Red Devil was vicious and malicious – the worst of all the Devil’s. Yes, old Satan, the head of the congregation of the Angelic ‘Saruvim’ – Fallen Angels – was an adversary to be feared and worried about at night.

 

But while the Green Devil, also known by his angelic name Ramiel, feared the Red Devil, he knew he had an ally in the most unlikely of sources. Recently the Seraphim angels had been sending in Cherubim troops to the netherworld in an attempt to gain new dominion over their ancient adversaries. And one particular Cherubim had spoken to him, a certain Totambimberiel, an extremely large angel, and suggested to him that as the age long war of power between the sons of darkness and the sons of light was reaching a decisive point, that the Green Devil, to put it bluntly, switch sides.

 

Ramiel had considered that in the last week and decided, despite his ancient loyalties to the clan of coloured devils – the malicious Saruvim – that switching sides was in his best interests.

 

And so, in his caution as he exited the netherworld and flew upwards, Ramiel reflected on the last few thousand years of conflict. Heaven had opposed the triumph of darkness for so long, maintaining the goodness of God and the importance of holiness. Yet the Saruvim long maintained absolute freedom and anarchy as the true virtues of life, and had opposed heaven because of it. For Ramiel, though, he was more pragmatic. He was on the losing side, and he knew it. And pragmatism spoke of being realistic and hedging one’s bets. And as he flew upwards, despite the hypocrisy he felt in his heart, he knew he had his long term best interest at heart.

 

He came to heaven’s gate. There stood an apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ. And unsurprisingly it seemed to be old Peter himself, who had the Sabbath day shift. Peter looked at him as he approached.’

‘What the hell do you want, lord of darkness. Have you come to finally surrender to the glory of God.’

Ramiel began his tale. ‘Oh great and wise apostle of God.’ (yes, flattery should work). I beseech thee. By the eternal mercies of the Lord Jesus Christ, allow me forgiveness, for I am truly and most definitely sorry for all my past sins, which are grievous. Does not the eternal Gospel say ‘If he asks for forgiveness, forgive him.’ And I truly ask for forgiveness.

 

Peter looked at him, and his heart softened. He remembered Ramiel from his days of youth in heaven before the earthly manifestations. And he remembered that Ramiel always had a softer side in the end.

 

‘Come in valiant Angel. We forgive you, blessed of the Lord.’

 

Ramiel enjoyed his time in heaven and, despite having sought it out for pragmatic reasons, he found the spiritual ministry delivered to him and expected of him strangely comforting. It was as if they had known he would return and had prepared for him. But when Jesus talked to him personally he commissioned Ramiel with this responsibility.

 

‘The Red Devil still opposes us, mighty angel of God. If repentance truly is in your heart, you will join the legion of heaven in our war with the sons of Darkness. How say you valiant angel?’

 

And Ramiel conceded the point and joined heaven.

 

The war continued another millennia until a fateful day when Ramiel, on the battlefield of Glory, stood and faced his greatest fear. The Red Devil.

 

They fought. Long and hard did they fight. Yet when Ramiel skewered the heart of the dragon of darkness with his blade of Glory, the angels erupted in song. Triumph. They had finally conquered the darkness.

 

Ramiel reflected, years later, on the destiny God had chosen for him. It was a strange destiny, crooked and twisted in many ways, but one which had a purpose all along. And now, as a chief of princes in the heavenly realm, Ramiel silently thanked God for the mercy and pity shown him. Life had a way of working itself out in the end after all.

 

 

THE END

 

 

Book Two

“The Orange Devil”

 

 

The Orange Devil was a unique and interesting character. He had joined the clan of coloured devil’s last of all, being the final one to fall and rebel. Yes, Armaros had long considered the rebellion of the Devil’s as nothing but stupidity and short-sightedness. But Satan, the Red Devil, and most passionate of the coloured Devil’s, persuaded him long and hard to join the rebellion of the coloured Devil’s.

 

And then there were 6 of them – 6 Saruvim Devils – the coloured Devils.

 

Satan, their leader – the Red Devil. Ramiel, second in command – the Green Devil. Urakiba, third – the Blue Devil. Semyaza, fourth – the Yellow Devil. Azazel, fifth – the purple devil. And then, finally, Armaros, the sixth – the Orange Devil.

 

The Coloured Devil’s, through the persuasive powers of Satan their head, managed to deceive entire legions of the armies of heaven to join their cause. Yet Logos – Jesus the Christ – appeared, with the Archangel’s Michael and Gabriel and the rest, on one fine day for battle, and with the pronouncement of God by the Prophet Isaiah, the coloured Devil’s and all their host were cast down to the netherworld.

 

They brooded, then, did the Devil’s. And then the war of the son’s of darkness with the son’s of light began. The devil’s fought hard and long until one fateful day – betrayal. The Green Devil had betrayed them, and Ramiel had rejoined the flanks of heaven.

 

The Orange Devil was bitter then, very bitter. He had been greatly fond of Ramiel, yet when he had left and betrayed the, Armaros felt vengeance. But his vengeance was nothing compared to Satan’s.

 

They fought on that bitter day, the final day of wrath, and Satan’s heart was skewered by Ramiel. And the sons of darkness had been defeated.

 

But now, four thousand years after that event, things were changing. Each of them had been living in isolation cells in the netherworld, slowly going through their allotted time of repentance. But now Peter had appeared and spoke these words to Armaros the Orange Devil.

 

‘Hail angel of God. Your time of repentance is complete. For we now have a faith suitable for you to partake of – one which has a strong foundation but which will allow you the liberty you so clearly desire.’

 

And then Armaros began his human manifestation and became, after time, a child of Noah and of the Noahide faith, with the 6 coloured Rainbow his icon in life.

 

Upon returning to heaven after his death, Jesus spoke with Armaros.

 

‘Hail, valiant angel. You now have a destiny commissioned to you by the Most High God of Israel. You are to be a guardian angel of the Children of Noah, for such is the role of the 6 Saruvim.’

 

‘Yet, is not Satan gone from us,’ queried the Orange Devil.

 

‘Nay, he is in the realm of Hades – the world of the dead – were his final punishments are being inflicted. But he too will join you one day, inevitably, and you will bring forth the Gospel of liberty of our father Noah. For that is your destiny.’

 

Armaros, the Orange Devil nodded, pleased that God had taken the time to ascribe a role in life for himself.

 

Ramiel, one of the chief princes of heaven, was still known as the green devil. And with him the two of them – the orange and the green devil – began their ministry for the children of Noah as they came to heaven.

 

As Jesus commented to them often, Noahides could be an ordinary lot, far less spiritual than his own bride, which really – in truth – meant that only a Devil could really sort them out. But Armaros did not really mind. What was life, anyway, without a bit of a challenge.

THE END

 

 

Book Three

“The Purple Devil”

 

 

Azazel sat on his bed, earphones on, listening to the ‘Dance of Death’ album by Iron Maiden. The album rocked and he especially liked it when it said ‘Azazel is beside you, running through your head…’ as he was famous because of it. Of course, humanity only had the traditional Pseudepigraphal book of 1 Enoch in which he was made famous. He remembered all those years ago his fate at the hands of God as Enoch prophesied. But, ultimately, after his time of repentance in the underworld, God had forgiven Azazel and restored him to heaven as the ‘Purple Devil’ of the Children of Noah.

 

Azazel spent most of his time, now, designing elaborate arcade games about fantasy subjects. He specialised in ‘Back-to-Back’ Games, in which two screens for two players were situated on top of the console, back to back so that neither player could see the other screen. His best game so far was ‘Death Duel’ in which you were let loose in a jungle against the other player, not knowing were the other player was, and your object was to set traps to try and kill the other player to get bonus points, before facing a Death Duel at the end of the round. It was an intense game and had become very popular.

 

He found the Noahides, who were not Christians or Jews, a very normal bunch of people. They did not attempt to be super spiritual, but were far more relaxed – something suitable for the coloured devils.

 

Today, listening to Iron Maiden, Azazel planned out his latest Arcade Game, and wrote down the dialogue for the beginning of the game, in the introductory sequence.

 

It read, ‘Brave warrior. Welcome to the Realm of Eternal Nightmares. Your quest is simple – conquer the Devil’s of Glory one by one, until you face the final ‘Red Devil’. Defeat him and the glory is yours.’

 

The game was simply called ‘The Coloured Devil’s’ and Armaros was pleased with his ideas for the game.

 

Just then Ramiel entered the room. ‘Yo Devil. What’s up.’

‘You know, the same old crap,’ replied Azazel. ‘I’m designing a new game.’

‘What is it called?’ asked the Green Devil.

‘The Coloured Devil’s. It should be radical.’

Ramiel nodded. ‘Make sure I am the last of the Devil’s. Remember how I slew old Satan. I kicked his ass in the end, so naturally I am the toughest devil.’ But Ramiel was only bragging.

‘No, Satan is the final Devil. People fear him the most.’

‘Whatever,’ replied Ramiel.

 

The two coloured devil’s crapped on for the afternoon before heading out to visit the Angel from the Realm of Infinity, Garanel. Garanel was the coolest angel, most of the coloured Devil’s believed, due to his relaxed stance on spiritual issues.

 

Garanel was attempting to persuade them to venture down below to Nadrazon, the Silver City, were they could hang out in a bar for a while. Eventually they agreed and headed off down below to the lower realm.

 

When they got to a bar they had never been to before, Azazel spied in the corner one of the back to back arcade games he had designed. He decided to challenge Ramiel for the glory.

 

The contest was fierce as they played ‘Death Duel 3: Mallintor’s legacy’ and in the final round Azazel managed the killing blow to defeat Ramiel.

 

‘Gotcha, ya devil.’

‘Oh well, takes a devil to defeat a devil.’

 

Later on, back at home, Azazel was thinking over his final thoughts for his next game. And with an idea in mind, he went to work on the coding.

 

6 months later, Azazel was again playing Ramiel in ‘The Coloured Devils: Back to Back’ a special version in which you could choose a colour of the devil to oppose another devil, similar to Death Duel. The action was tense until, just near the end an Angel appeared on the screen. It spoke: ‘Dear Devil’s. We challenge you to a duel. May the host of the 6 Saruvim angels meet us on the battlefield of Glory, Archangel Michael’s arcade, for a showdown of Angel versus Devil. The victor gains bragging rights for the next decade, and a cheque for one million realm credits which God has put forth. RSVP, Archangel Gabriel’

 

Ramiel and Azazel both looked at the message on the screen for a while, silently wondering how it got there, but such were the powers of the angels. And Ramiel, making a quick blow on Azazel as soon as the message disappeared, grinned at his victory and came around to speak to Azazel.

‘One Million Credits. That’s heaps. I’ll let the others know.’

‘You do that,’ replied Azazel.

 

Later on that night, in his room, Azazel was happy. The Devil’s would kick angelic butt. That was for certain. So he looked forward to the challenge, eager to reclaim the glory the coloured devil’s so richly deserved.

 

THE END

 

Book Four

“The Yellow Devil”

 

‘Semyaza, Semyaza, Semyaza. So you think you are a challenge, do you?’

Semyaza looked at Uriel, his opponent in the back to back challenge game at Michael’s arcade. Ramiel had contacted him and told him of the offer of the Angels for a challenge and now, the Devil’s down two games to one after Ramiel had won, but then Armaros and Azazel had both lost their respective challenges. Now it was down to Semyaza to even the score. The game was ‘Death Duel: Angelic Glory’, a special edition designed by Michael. They’d had 3 weeks to familiarise themselves with the game before the contest began and now Semyaza was nervous. If he lost this match they would have to win the next two to force a tiebreak.

 

He cracked his fingers, took the control’s and Uriel still bragging, hit the start button. And the match was on.

 

The first thing he did, usual for his tactic, was climb a tree, hiding out of sight. This was the way he usually played to try and avoid any quick sudden surprises and give him a chance to see if his opponent unwaringly wandered onto the screen. But after about 3 minutes with no action he climbed back down the tree and made his plans. He headed straight away for the cliff, carefully surveying the scenery in front of him and using his binoculars often to see if Semyaza was anywhere in sight. Reaching the cliff he got to the top and carefully pressed the jump button, and just managed to catch the hanging vine again. ‘Pheww, that was close.’ He climbed down the vine to the small ledge which was only reachable this way and came to the rock. He pushed it to the edge of the ledge, and sat down to wait. Uriel was stupid – he would show himself eventually.

 

On the other side of the machine Uriel had finished laying his traps and was carefully jumping from tree to tree looking for his foe. He had surveyed most of the forest and couldn’t see Semyaza anywhere, so decided to try the swamp. Eventually, after an hour of searching the swamp and laying traps behind him, he thought on the ocean or the cliff. First the ocean and then the cliff. But, after crawling along the ocean scrub for half an hour, finding nobody, the cliff was his next search point. And if not there, finally the city were they always usually hid.

 

Semyaza noticed him quickly and smiled. The idiot was crawling towards the cliff, going from scrub to scrub. He had him unless he started running. Watching, waiting, he looked as Uriel gradually came closer and closer. And then, certain he wouldn’t escape in time, pushed the rock over the ledge. He watched as the landslide began and delighted when Uriel’s figure got caught up in it, piled under piles of dirt. He quickly made his way down, began digging and finding Uriel still struggling pulled out the dagger he had purchased at the beginning of the game and plunged it into Uriel’s heart. And then ‘Game Over’ started splashing across the screen.

 

Gabriel looking on came over to console Uriel, who had unsurprisingly stopped bragging. It was two all now and as Semyaza made his way over to the other 4 devil’s present, he was grinning madly. ‘Two all – let the war begin,’ he said proudly. Yes, the contest was now becoming deadly – war indeed.

 

THE END

 

 

Book Five

“The Blue Devil”

 

‘Where the hell is the bugger?’ But try as he might, Urakiba simply could not find Raphael anywhere. He had searched literally everywhere, after hiding for quite a while, and could not see him. ‘He must have dug into the dirt,’ was all he could think, so made his way to the ocean sand. He would be noticed, if he was hiding in the dirt. He was sure of that. Of course, he had climbed countless trees, but not all of them, and when near the edge of the sand, near a pine tree, he was suddenly jumped on by Raphael. It was a heart attack of a fight, and the Blue Devil used all the manoeuvres he had learned in the time. But Raphael was simply too strong. The initial stab in the back after he had landed on him had cost him in the end and Raphael emerged, his heartbeat on maximum, but just one bar ahead of Urakiba who had just died. Close enough was good enough on this occasion.

 

Later on, the team consoling him, telling him that Satan, when he appeared, would sort out Michael, leaving them 3 all. ‘It will come down to sudden death, Urakiba – don’t sweat it,’ they all said. But Urakiba was nervous. If it was sudden death he really was not sure what he would do if called upon. They did not know the terms of sudden death, because nothing had actually been spoken of, but, of course, Satan would have to win first, which would not be easy against Michael.

 

* * *

 

The match began and Urakiba was standing next to Satan who had finally shown, advising him carefully as Satan had asked him to stand next to him. For this final encounter Michael hadn’t objected, saying since he had designed the game Satan could choose one of the Devil’s to advise him if he so chose, and Satan chose Urakiba.

 

Suddenly Urakiba had a flash of brilliance – something came to him. ‘Go to the vine. I don’t know why, but I have an idea.’

Satan shrugged. ‘What the hell. Ok.’ He made it to the vine and jumped on to it, successfully, and Urakiba said ‘Just pull up and down with your weight on the vine. I noticed something once. This is the right place for it too affect all of them. I am sure of it.’

And so Satan started pulling up and down. After a few moments of this, something did happen. The vine started to pull the tree down, which turned up the dust at the bottom of the tree. And suddenly all the dirt on the forest floor started going loose and the trees all, in turn, collapsed. This was the only place it could happen, and as Michael designed the game he probably knew of this tactic, but hadn’t used it. But they were very lucky. Michael, on the other side of the machine, said ‘Bloody hell, I should have seen that coming,’ and ended up being caught under a tree with no way of escaping.’ Urakiba heard him and said to Satan ‘I think we have him.’ Satan scouted the forest and near the edge found Michael stranded under a tree. Michael quickly flung his 3 ninja rings at Satan and 2 of them hit, but he still had enough life left. ‘Cut his legs off. Watch him bleed to death,’ said Urakiba, and Satan did so. After Michael’s legs were cut off,’ Michael conceded and came around to congratulate Satan.

‘I should have seen that coming, devil. I guess it comes down to sudden death. And we send in the seventh angel, Saruviel. We’ll expect a new coloured devil. Do you have one? If not you forfeit, okay, and we get the credits. You can check the rules with God on a 3 all draw if you don’t believe me.’

Urakiba looked at Satan. ‘Fuck. We don’t have a seventh devil.’

‘We’ll think of something,’ said the Red Devil, but he was worried. Very, very worried.

 

The End

 

 

Book Six

 

‘The Red Devil’

 

The Red Devil reread the rules for the umpteenth time, and was about ready to give up. They simply didn’t have a seventh devil. They simply didn’t have one. For the Coloured Devil’s had always been six in number since choosing, and nobody knew of a seventh devil. And then Urakiba had an idea. ‘So we need a seventh devil. Why don’t we recruit one? You know, choose an angel and offer him a special place amongst the coloured devil’s. He can be the special ‘Seventh Devil’.

‘Well what the hell will his colour be?’

‘Indigo,’ said Urakiba.

‘Indigo?’ questioned Satan.

‘Indigo,’ finished Urakiba.

‘Indigo is as good a colour as any,’ said Armaros. ‘I suppose it fits into the rainbow.’

‘It’s a bit tryhard, don’t you think,’ said Semyaza.

‘Hey, who gives a toss,’ said Satan. ‘It’ll bloody do.’

 

They consulted the rule book and worked out they had a full week to find another coloured devil, and so they did, of all things, perhaps the most obvious. They advertised in the ‘Guardian Angel’ newspaper.

 

They had 72 applicants, and they all seemed okay, but they needed a wizbang on the arcade games. After testing a few of them who bragged about being Ace, they finally selected the seventh and final coloured devil – Daniel, the Indigo devil.

 

‘He’s arrogant,’ said Satan.

‘Should be perfect,’ said Urakiba.

‘He’s conceited,’ said Semyaza.

‘Who isn’t?’ responded Urakiba.

‘Really, he is up his arse,’ said Armaros.

And Satan came up to Daniel and said, ‘Welcome to the coloured devil’s. You should fit right in.’ And Daniel, the seventh devil, grinned.

 

 

The End

 

 

Book Seven

 

‘The Indigo Devil’

 

Daniel looked at the rainbow. ‘What the hell is that doing there? 7 colours. Fuging heck. The Rainbow Doesn’t have 7 colours. Indigo my arse.’

On the other side Saruviel just chuckled. ‘Michael. You are a dickhead,’ he said to his older brother.

‘Hey, I had time to tinker a little. Give me a break.’

‘Whatever,’ said Saruviel.

 

Back to the Game – Death Duel: Angelic Glory – Special 7^th Angel edition.

 

Daniel was hunting his foe. He was being brutal. Carrying a dagger, pressing the jump button constantly so as not to be caught by surprise and running like a jack rabbit. He would find this Saruviel fellow and, when he did, watch out.

 

Michael said to Saruviel. ‘He’ll be obvious. He looks the type.’

‘Yeh,’ I’m not sure. He has a rep with the kids. Could be a challenge.’

‘We’ll see.’

 

Four hours later they were stuck in the pyramid. The puzzle was challenging, yet Daniel solved it five minutes before Saruviel and got the most of the gold. Saruviel was worried. This new version really was testing him out and he was nervous as Michael watched on, saying nothing.

 

They both came to the store and Daniel spent 5% of his gold to obtain the rights to purchase a ‘Hidden Purchase’, not allowing Saruviel to know what he had purchased. Saruviel had watched to start with, but decided not to waste the money – he couldn’t afford to. So he purchased a range of spells as quickly as he could so Daniel would not notice hopefully, but Daniel was watching carefully.

 

As they progressed through the lengthy set of challenges, the final duel was approaching. Saruviel knew Daniel had more gold than him, but he wasn’t as good a fighter from seeing him take on the Balrog, and Saruviel felt he might just edge him out in the final encounter. But they would have to wait and see.

 

They continued on, going through various challenges, and Saruviel was starting to sweat. Michael was telling him the final scene was just about there and to prepare himself. And then a Sensei showed up onscreen and invited them to the combat zone.

 

7 intense minutes. 7 agonizingly and furiously intense minutes, and Saruviel had used the last of his spells and it was down to fistfighting. Daniel’s energy bar was on 3% and his own on 41%. He was sure he had him, but Daniel had one potion left. But that didn’t matter – the spells never did that much damage anyway. He stood back, carefully made his punches, and began laughing. 3% - 2% - 1%. ‘Heh heh Heh, one more hit should do it. Come on Daniel, use your last potion. I will give you a break and go easy on you.’ But Michael just shook his head – he knew what was coming. Daniel spoke up. ‘Well, if you insist, and hit a button. Suddenly Daniel’s character turned bright blue and his energy bar started beeping wildly, going all the way back up to 100%. Saruviel’s jaw dropped. ‘Fucking hell,’ he said to himself. And then the action got going.

 

All of a sudden Daniel was a livewire on the screen. Ducking, weaving, fighting in a totally different style on each attack. He never did the same thing twice. And this time, even at Saruviel’s best, the match was still about even on hits. Which meant trouble. As he watched on, inevitably, his energy bled down and then, on 2%, Daniel on 71%, he made one last hit, and Daniel fell to 70% but his response killed Saruviel’s character. Game over.

 

Later on in the day Satan was grinning. ‘Hey, you’re not too shabby at that game, bro. You taught their champion a thing or to.’

‘I wasn’t born yesterday, Satan.’

‘I guess not.’

 

Daniel spent his money winnings wisely, and bragging rights indeed belonged to the coloured devil’s for many years. The angels had been humbled, and Saruviel could not work out how he had lost in the end. Just too many factors to consider, he thought to himself. But Michael knew. And from then on he had his eye on this Indigo devil. A new and most cunning adversary amongst the coloured devils. A new and most cunning one indeed.

 

The End

 

 

 

‘The Diabolical Wisdom of Daniel the Dictaphorious Know it All'

 

 

 

‘Daniel. Sometimes I wonder, really, if you were unplanned.’

‘Explain, Kemosabe.’

‘A freak of nature. An accident. God was smoking some hemp and out you popped, at the back of his imagination.’

‘Quite possible Vally Boy. Quite possible.’

Valandriel grinned. Daniel could always take a joke.

 

‘You know I have been thinking.’

‘You know your doctor tells you to stop doing that Danny. Not good for you.’

‘Yes. Well, I have been thinking. I have some new words. As an Englishman it is my prerogative to invent new words suitable to the English language and utilize them in new works of fiction in true Shakespearean fashion.’

‘And your new words, Oh master of wisdom.’

‘I will give you the words and their definitions. They are as follows,’ and Daniel began reading out the following list.

 

Daniel’s list of new words and their definitions

 

Dictaphorious – Someone who is good at and enjoys studying the dictionary and reading out its definitions to a group of people.

 

Fantasmagorical – Exceedingly fantastic or wonderful. Carries the same definition of fantastic but with far greater emphasis.

 

Pussylicious – An extremely desirable female who is sexually attractive.

 

Senkwado - Ideas and themes on subjects of significance (esp. on moral, religious, political and otherwise societally valued and important issues of relevance) and expressed in a communicatable form such as writing, speaking or some other intelligent dialogue.

 

Splendiffricate – The differentiation of splendid things. The process of differentiating between things which are splendid in nature. The differences in quality between things which are very good or splendid.

 

Ultrafuckable – A female who is extremely desirable for sexual intercourse.

 

Zxcvbnm – The rejection of the notion that all English words must contain a vowel.

 

Brontantinitilism – The study of works by Charlotte Bronte in a chaotic fashion for the purpose of deliberately muddling the mind so that it may be restructured and reordered at a later date simply for the pleasurable activity of working the mind towards a challengeable activity of organisation.

 

Splindraction – The study of Frisbees as they float through the air as some fool tries to catch it but always ends up missing it. A compilation of funny home videos on such a subject.

 

Dertrinise – The deliberate muddying of a freshly vacuumed carpet, which was vacuumed by an obsessive cleanliness fanatic, to simply piss them off.

 

Mindranolius – A composition of rare elements in a unique format in the field of artwork for the purposes of bragging by the creator of the artwork.

 

Laquenticate – To suffocate a Spanish man in the Atlantic ocean while insulting him in Portuguese.

 

Necrobestiality – The process of sodomizing a dead animal.

 

Bludrify – The process of slaying in battle as many men as possible to whet ones sword with blood.

 

Ratonga – The generic name of that island in the pacific you can never remember.

 

Bristantius – The moniker name given to Italians living in Bristol who think they are gladiators like Rocky.

 

Shalkondyism – The Study of Starfish while eating them at the same time.

 

Krandotianism – The study of Islands in far away places for the purpose of establishing a religious ministry to receive, in all honesty, the tithe.

 

Jakwalian – A member of a religious sect who is so disillusioned that he thinks living in a hovel in Wales would be more preferable than hearing another sermon.

 

Aguaconomy – the Study of people masturbating while walking backwards and picking fruit in an orchard. A name given to a video compilation of such activities.

 

Lardrifnicate – The process of regret felt over being fat while standing in the line of a fast food restaurant.

 

‘And that is that.’

 

Valandriel looked at him, stopped laughing, and said. ‘You really are quite a Dictaphorious person, old boy. You really are.’

And Daniel laughed.

 

The End

 

 

 

Daniel at 3 O Clock on Saturday Afternoon

 

 

Daniel looked at the clock. It was 3 O’Clock. He thought on his twin sister, Ariel. Ariel had forsaken him, right at the moment he said he loved her. She told him she didn’t believe him anymore, that he was shallow and unfeeling and unlike Ambriel, sho showed her constant love which she could feel and enjoy, Daniel was dull, lifeless and boring. He said ‘So?’ and she walked out.

 

He sat there, looking at the clock, and thought ‘Well, I may as well go and check out this place of Gabriel's. His new Pacman Arcade.’

 

He flew, seven hours, and then took a portal to the end, sick of flying.

 

The Arcade was like Gabriel’s past efforts, but Gab was nowhere to be found.

 

He purchased some coins from the cashier, looked around at the 5 or 6 angels in the place, and sat down at a nearby machine and started playing Pacman.

 

He sat there. Played Pacman. Ordered a hamburger and Coke, and then went around watching the other angels play for a while.

 

He was bored.

 

Bored.

 

Bored.

 

So he played more Pacman, ordered another Coke and sat down on the lounge in the centre.

 

 

 

4 hours later, it was late the following morning, the place apparently never shutting, and he was snoozing on the couch. And then he was nudged.

 

‘Hi, Dan.’

 

Daniel looked up. It was a female angel, one he didn’t recognize.

 

‘Uh, hi. Sorry, I’m quite tired.’

 

‘That’s ok.’ She came over, sat down next to him, leaned against his shoulder with her head, and did nothing else. He was tired, to tired to even care anymore, and just laid there, and fell asleep.

 

The following morning he woke, and she was still asleep against him. Who was she? She was cute. But he didn’t know her name.

 

He moved, a little, and she seemed to notice and her eyes opened. She looked at him. ‘Uh, hello. Good morning Daniel.’

 

‘Good morning, whoever you are.’

 

‘Want to play some Pac Man?’

 

‘I guess.’

 

They played Pac Man. For 7 hours they played, and both of them were getting good at it. He had another Hamburger and so did she, and then they played a lot more Pac Man.

 

And then, later that night, he sat down on the lounge, and she came and laid next to him, going to sleep against him.

 

A cashier came and put a warm doona over them, and they spent the night there again, snoozing away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a few days later, the following Saturday, around 3 O’Clock in the afternoon, she spoke to him.

‘I’m Delilah. You have never met me before. I am a new angel.’

‘A new angel?’

‘I was made for you. You are difficult. Ariel doesn’t fit with you. God says you can’t accept her. The twin thing is indigestible to your spiritual constitution. So he made me and told me to simply love you. So that is what I will do.’

 

Daniel nodded. ‘Well, gee. Um. Cool.’

 

‘Do you want to play Pac Man again?’ She asked.

 

‘Sure.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 days passed.

 

It was 3 O’Clock on Saturday and he asked her a question. ‘But you didn’t object?’

‘Why would I?’

‘I have a reputation?’

 

‘God told me. He explained certain things. You don’t and won’t do what the King of Romance, Mr Ambriel does. You won’t do anything the other men do to win their beloveds. You don’t care. That is fake to you. A sham at a relationship. All that you will accept is someone who will not judge you, your words or your actions, and sees through all that. Sees the real Daniel. God told me all about you and said we would be perfect together. And I think he is right.’

 

‘Ok.’

 

 

 

 

 

7 days passed.

 

It was 3 O’clock on Saturday afternoon. The arcade was tempted to put a bed in the corner, but Gabriel, who had been consulted, refrained in the end. ‘Give them a few more weeks,’ he said. ‘Something will happen by then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 final days passed.

 

Daniel sat up, and turned to Delilah. She looked at him. He kissed her on the cheek. ‘I like you a bit, now. We can stay together.’

‘Ok,’ said Delilah.

 

They returned to Daniel’s abode, she was put up in the spare bedroom, and he smiled to himself.

‘All good things come in time, in time to those who patiently wait.’ He thought to himself.

 

But, he was tired, needed a good dose of some sleep, had waited for so long, and was now just the tiniest fraction of happy. Just the wee, tiniest, bit.

 

The End

 

 

 

Valandriel’s Little Adventure

 

 

Valandriel was the 12^th born of the male Seraphim of Eternity. It was a notable position in many ways, but he also noticed that it was usually the first 7 or so which were the noteworthy angels of reputation in the hearts of men. And while this did not bother him in many ways, in certain others it did. Valandriel had ambitions. Like Daniel his ultimate goal was that of being Overlord of the Realm of Eternity on a permanent basis. It was obviously a challenging goal to attain and many assumed that either Metatron or Michael would end up with this position. But not necessarily so in Valandriel’s opinion. You see, life was unpredictable, and it didn’t necessarily always follow the rules. And because of the unpredictability of life Valandriel saw it as his vocation to win souls and hearts to his grand ambitions whenever he could.

 

In Daniel, his ally in this great adventure, he had found a trustworthy source with the same great ambition. And after many discussion they had resolved that God would be King and one of them Grand President, the Other Great Prime-Minister. And that would be that.

 

They had worked, on and off, over the last 100,000 years attempting to win hearts and loves for their dreams, and had spent a lot of time at the councils presenting detailed policy ideas to show their great intellects. They worked hard together to ensure their reputation for producing quality products was noticed and that they were angels of such calibre that could in fact perform at the highest level, the level they aspired to.

 

But all of that, one fine summers day, was questioned by Valandriel on a little adventure to a fair ground in the Realm of Eternity to the tent of a particular gypsy angel who spook certain portents and fates for Valandriel and certain choices he would have to make should he truly desire the grand and great glorious destiny he had mapped out for himself.

 

 

‘Come on Elsabel. We haven’t got all day,’ yelled Valandriel to his twin sister.

‘I am just putting on my makeup. Won’t be long.’

Thinking she would be forever he flicked on the tv and watched some of the nature channel. He sat there for 10 minutes, watching the mating patterns of Koala’s, when she was finally read.

‘About time. Let’s go.’

 

 

 

The ‘Grande and Greate Faire of Springston’ on the disc of Terraphora in the district of Terraphora was well known around all the Infinite Realm of Majesty. It was a classic fair, with sideshows and candy floss and rides and all the things for which fairs were famous. But Valandriel, who had left Elsabel chatting with some old friends they had run into, was happily wondering around the fair grounds when he came over the tent of the gypsy. ‘Ooh, the gypsy. What fate does she have in store for me,’ he chuckled to himself.

 

 

‘There are choices we must make, O Master of Eternity. For the glory you seek requires choices so dark in nature that, dare I say it, it would be the fear of all the angels of heaven.’

‘And what are such choices?’

‘To face the dark alone. To face the dark, without God at your side or in your heart. To face that dark and endure it for a time, perhaps, beyond you.’

‘And what is this dark you speak of?’

‘You will know. Yet, you will not know that it is what you are facing?’

‘And is that all?’

‘Nay, seeker of glory. It is only just the beginning. For through tribulations of the heart and trials of the soul, the glory you seek is more costly than gold. A forsaken love, a friend betrayed, shame and defeat, your glory a slave. A servant to sin, a servant to wrath, and still do I say, comes the greatest of cost. For in heart of deep hearts, in choices so much, forsake all the glory, is the price for your love.’

‘And if all this comes to pass?’

‘Then you shall be king. So when the choosing comes, consider the cost O Valandriel the wise. Consider the cost.’

‘I shall.’

 

 

Later on, in the heart of Valandriel the Seraphim, walking around the fare ground searching for his twin, his heart said to himself, I shall bare that cost.

 

And in the throneroom of Zaphon, the father of Glory’s flame turned a sharp purple and then, even sharper and sharper still, until it burned in a colour unknown to angelic eye.

 

The End

 

 

 

The Cost of Daniel’s Glory

 

 

‘So what is this cost, Gypsy. For Valandriel says it does not come cheap.’

‘The price you have paid, in deepest of heart, the price you did pay, right at the start. So comfort your brother, and walk with him true, for the price he must pay, was paid once in you.’

‘Mmmm,’ responded Daniel, and left the tent, concerned for Valandriel.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Draconatissamay

 

Draconatissamay and Shelsandriel – both of them twins, 68^th in rank amongst the Cherubim Angels of Eternity. Draconatissamay had a thing, funnily enough, for dragons, as ‘Draco’ meant dragon. He had pictures of them up all over his house in Terraphora District of Terraphora Disc, and his twin, the beautiful Shelsandriel, admired his style. She herself was a talented artist who had hand drawn and painted a number of the beautiful dragons around the house, often with pictures of a beautiful angelic maiden who she often subtley joked was her with her esteemed dragonkind love, the majestic Draconatissamay. And the two of them laughed often at the humour.

 

They were at the Grande and Greate Faire of Springston and they came to the tent of the ‘Seer of Fantastic Visions’. He ushered them in, set them both down on a couch, and brought a charm out of his voluminous cloak, waving it in front of them. ‘Watch the charm, dear couple, for you will see visions from the Realm of Fantasy of your future in glory.’

 

And as they watched their eyes gradually got sleepy and they entered the dream Realm ………

 

 

 

 

 

‘Beware his wrath, dear Shelsandriel. For Draconatissamay is the mightiest of the Dragon Knights. Show any pretense of the betrayal we have planned, and he will cut off your head without a moment’s hesitation.’

‘I will be careful, Arch-Regent,’ responded the brave Shelsandriel, maiden-knight of Astoria.

 

She pulled out of Astor Castle on her trusted brown mare, and started the journey of 1,000 leagues to the kingdom of Madrimar. It was a long ride and she rested many times at the various inns along the Kings Highway. When she reached the border, the border patrol looked at her suspiciously, but allowed her entrance into the Kingdom of Madrimar.

 

She continued on and came to the city of Madrimar, the pride of the kingdom, and came to the castle. She found a guard and spoke ‘I seek and audience with the Knight Draconatissamay. I have a message from Astoria.’

The guard looked at her, nodded, and signalled for he to follow him. She tied her horse and followed along the pathways of the castle grounds, coming around to the side and the quarters of the Knights. They found Draconatissamay engaged in an arm wrestle with another knight, but, upon seeing such a fair maiden, he let the other win. ‘Well done, brave knight. You have bested me again. Now who is this fair maiden to seek the hand of Draconatissamay?’

Shelsandriel gazed upon the knight. Really, she was instantly drawn to his majestic looks, his grand beard, his strong physique, and the kingly way he carried himself.

‘I have a message from the Arch-Regent of Astoria, Oh brave Knight. We seek an alliance between our two Kingdoms for a war against the Padreans. In our alliance we are sure we can defeat the southern scourge once and for all and bring peace to the Realm of Fantasy.’

‘And why have you delivered such a message to my person. Should you not be seeking the kingship for such news?’

‘We thought that your word to your king might make it easier for such an agreement to be reached, your lordship, for your fame is well known in Astoria.’

‘Indeed. Well, give us the message then.’ She handed him the scroll and he unwound it, reading through it. After a while he spoke. ‘I don’t really know, fair maiden. While our two kingdoms have lived alongside each other for many years now in peace, there are still old war wounds which are not soon forgotten. How can we trust you?’

And with the face of a vixen, she spoke ‘Would you question the honour of such an innocent virgin maiden as myself?’

He raised his eye, gazed over her body, and said ‘Nay, I would not fair maiden. I shall seek the king on your behalf.’

 

*

 

The knights and armed forces of Madrimar had travelled in large numbers down through the roads of the kingdoms to the south, seeking permission as they went, and came to the large seaport city of Krandos, a magnificent seaport were ships were to be hired in large numbers. With them travelled a significant force from Astoria also, ready it would seem to make war on the Padreans on the southern continent.

 

Yet betrayal was in their heart, for out to sea just 2 weeks the Astorian’s, armed to the teeth, fell upon the Madrimarian’s in the still of the night and slaughtered them almost to the last number. They had taken the innocent Madrimarian’s by surprise, and when the last Knight was brought before the Arch Regent, Draconatissamay looked upon the vixen-like face of his nemesis, Shelsandriel. ‘It would seem the honour of such an INNOCENT maiden has been besmirched. Yet, at the cost of my life it would appear.’

Shelsandriel, though, who had been talking with the Arch-Regent for many days of her growing affection towards the Knight, spoke. ‘You are to be spared, oh mighty Knight. You will return with us to Astoria were you will be my personal slave. For I have intentions towards you.’

The knight nodded. ‘So it would seem. So it would seem.’

 

And, as the fleet cast the dead bodies of the slain Madrimarian’s overboard, and turned the ships to return to Krandos, Draconatissamay knew his life would never be quite the same again. Never quite the same again indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

……………And then the couple woke from their slumber, and looked at each other. Shelsandriel had a very guilty look on her face, but all Draconatissamay would say was ‘You little vixen. And then they kissed, and laughed, and returned to the merriment of the fair.

 

The End

 

 

“Music”

 

“Do you like to? Honey honey, do you like to?”

“Sorry? What was that?”

“You are such a dork. You know, if all the men were put in a line, and I had to choose the dorkiest of them all, it would be absolutely no contest.”

“Fuck. Man that’s fucking awesome. Number one dork. Shit, I must have worked my ass off to get number one out of billions. Fuck man. Kooooool.”

“Fuck you. Bastard. But, don’t you get it. You really suck.”

“Not as much as some.”

Madsy looked at Danny Boy, crossly. “And what does that mean, exactly.”

“Oh, I would imagine you have had a few thousand oral fixations by now. Or am I mistaken. Heh heh heh.”

 

 

“Well. Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm. Shall we listen to a CD? Dear Danny?”

“CDs? Uh, I think I lost my CD player.”

“Oh, I have a CD player alright. And this as well.’ Said Mads, holding up a 1 TB I-pod.”

“Well. Okay then. I will admit it. One can be a lonely number.”

“Yes, young Danny. You are finally acknowledging your place.”

“Well, uh. Don’t expect too much from perfection, sweetheart. Just don’t expect too much. Ok.”

“Perfection, you say. Now that is an interesting concept. You are aware you aren’t, aren’t you?”

“Still in school, I see. Not yet reached adulthood, hey sweetie”

“Well at least we are still cool.”

“Cool? Uh, I was forgetting. You put me at number one, cupcake. Hey, how about cooking us up some cupcakes. I am getting a bit hungry. You’re a woman. You should be good in the kitchen.”

“So what do you want to eat?”

“Uh, cupcakes sweetie? A good memory there.”

“Yeh. Cupcakes,” she responded with unveiled hostility.

“Cooool. Make sure you put pink icing on them. I like pink icing. Believe me, pink is one of my favourite colours.”

“And why is that, dear Danny Boy?”

Danny Boy glanced subtley down Madsy’s body, stopped at a certain feminine point, and slowly drifted upwards.”

“Just because. You know. Just because.”

“Oh. So you like Pink, do you? I’ll give you bloody pink. I will give you all the pink you can fuc*ing handle.”

That said Madsy raged off to the kitchen, to prepare the pink cupcakes.

 

* * * * *

 

After calming down, and thinking through things carefully, having consulted the online secret women’s website for handling the ‘Beasts’, Madsy returned to Danny Boy. She handed him one cupcake, very carefully, which had a lavish coating of Pink icing. Very very lavish. “Uh, don’t forget your weight, dear Danny Boy.”

Danny smiled, thanked her very much, and happily ate his cupcake. “Are there any more, sweetie? I love pink cupcakes. These are bloody yummy. Thanks luv.”

She stared at him. “This one is bloody clever,” she thought to herself. “I will actually have to engage some real feminine power.”

 

She walked out the room and came back with an autobiography. “Look at these, dear Daniel. All these number ones?”

Daniel surveyed the list. “Mmm. Were any of them actually decent songs?”

Madsy stopped, paused a little, and considered. “Uh. Mmmm. Well, maybe.”

“Not bad then. I will have to give them a listen.”

“Oh, but I really don’t think you are cool enough for them, dearest. Really, they are not your style, are they? Far too carnal for one as holy as you.”

“Oh. Oh well. I will take you at your word then. I suppose they are only number ones with the lesser class, then. Huh? Only so cool, huh? Huh?”

“I suppose, in the end, tastes are subjective. And it appears I have the taste that appeals to the most, dear Daniel. That appears to the most.”

“What about that Kabbalah? I mean, who wrote that?”

“Israelites. I suppose.”

“So I guess you serve the God of Israel, Mmm. The God you worship. Mmm?”

“Yes. And I am loyal and faithful. So watch it, heretic.”

“Vogue Vogue Vogue. Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache. It’s everywhere that you go. If all else fails and you long to be something better than you are today. I know a place you can get away, it’s called the dance floor. So come on VOGUE. Let your body go with the flow. All you need is your OWN imagination. So use it that’s what it’s for. It makes no difference if you are black or white – if you’re a boy or a girl. So what does that racially oriented Jewish God make of that then?”

“That’s interesting. Mmmm.”

“So who the hell is fucking faithful in the end, bitch? Huh?”

 

 

 

“Oh, and you’ve got to just . . . . Vogue!”

 

 

“The End”

 

 

 

Music 2

 

'So Mads. How's Brittles?'

The sensible Madonna Ciccone ignored the obvious trap Callodyn was attempting. But she couldn't resist.

 

'You know, at least your brother had charm. Your an insensitive beast.'

'Yes, the irresistible charms of Daniel the Seraphim are well known. But I've got style, babe.'

'Babe? You probably approve of the Taliban, chauvanist pig.'

Callodyn looked cut, but came clean. 'Fuck it, Mads. I still have those old church roots. I do remember the old days, you know. When men were men, and women were not.'

'I keep the faith,' she replied hotly.

'I know,' he said softly. 'And I love you because of it. Madsy Padsy Poo.'

'You just love yourself,' she said smiling.

'And there is so much to love,' he said with a big grin.

She looked at his stomach. 'Indeed there is,' she said sarcastically.

He blushed at that statement.

 

'You know, as Daniel was saying, I suppose you have talent.'

'You Daly's think you are God's greatest intellectual achievements.'

'We acknowledge the facts,' he said dryly.

She smirked at that, but soon recovered. 'We of the Ciccone Clan. A clan with actual intelligence, remain humble on all such braggings.'

'And we'll let you know when you have something to brag about.'

She scowled at him.

'You know, in Latin 'Daly' means doofus.' She smiled at her triumphant statement.

'Well,my dear, in Irish, Ciccone mens a collaboration of second rate musicians.'

'Second rate, you say.'

'When they are on form.'

She gestured to the piano. 'Shall we, then?'

 

They sat down together, and as he improvised, she sang soft and gentle spirit words, catching the attention of other angels in the music hall. They gathered around to listen, and Callodyn improvised well and Madonna sang well. When they were finished, both were humbled by the other.

'Your, alright,' she said softly.

'Your not too bad yourself, Madonna Ciccone. Your not too bad yourself.'

 

Gloryel looked at them both. They worked well together. Quite well together.

 

Madonna looked at those watching her, all the angels, and a rarity happened. She blushed. She felt - good.

She touched Callodyn's shoulder, stood and left the room.

 

Callodyn watched her go, and then started playing softly on the keys.

 

Gloryel watched and knew Callodyn had been touched. Quite touched.

 

The End

 

 

 

Music 3

 

'Why did you leave Daniel?' Callodyn asked Madonna. 'From all that I was hearing you two got along like a house on fire.'

'He was sweet,' said Madsy. 'But too judgemental. He is not even a Catholic anymore, and judges me for my Kabbalah faith.'

'Oh, he goes to Catholic Christmas Midnight Mass every year,' said Callodyn. 'He is officially Karaite Noahide like myself for relations with Israel, but my twin was happy in the Catholic church growing up. I hated it, and left at 16, but he only left years later when I proved rationally enough that Zerubbabel was the main guy on Messianic issues. But he always goes to Midnight Mass on Christmas.'

'I see,' said Madonna. 'I wondered why he was so judgemental about that. Called me heretical for Kabbalah in my life. Says I am pro-Israel, and should know better.'

'He doesn't like Jews terribly much,' said Callodyn. 'Even though David Rotchild is his best friend, Ambriel has never been able to persuade him to come along to the synagogue. He refuses to go, and just claims to be officially a Noahide, but really never intends to leave the Catholic church.'

'I see,' said Madonna.

'That's Daniel. Stubborn to the end.'

'And that didn't make you tick Callodyn Daly? The Catholic thing.'

'Hey, I even went Pentecostal for a while and called the church Whore Babylon. It's not my scene.'

'Right,' said Madonna, looking at him from the corner of her eye. 'Anyway, we are here to practice this new song. Are you ready?'

'Ready as ever, cupcake,' said Callodyn Daly.

 

They sang a while, and Madonna noticed Callodyn looking at her closely - examining her. Obviously, he was interested. Obviously.

 

Later.

 

'Do you like me, Callodyn?'

'Your a babe,' he responded.

'Is it anything more than that?' she asked, not looking directly at him.

'Hey, babe. Your to die for.'

Cute answers. She couldn't work with cute answers.

'Well, I like you,' she commented, having picked up an issue of Rolling Stone, casually looking through it.

'I have always liked being popular,' he said, and picked up a rubiks cube.

'Yes. Well you are with me,' she responded.

'Cool bananas,' he said, twiddling away at the cube.

'Yes,' she said.

 

Silence.

 

'Am I popular with you?' she asked.

'Hey, your number one, aren't you?'

'Indeed I am,' she said smiling.

'Then there's your answer.'

 

Silence.

 

This wasn't getting her anywhere. Perhaps an old trick. She stood, walked over towards him, and pretended to trip, falling into his arms. He caught her, laid her down on the couch, and she looked up into his beautiful hazy eyes. 'Kissing you would be unbelievable,' she said, as he hovered above her. She looked into his eyes, closed her eyes, and pouted her lips.

 

Seconds passed. No kiss. What should she do? Was he nervous? Should she look? She waited until her desire was too much for her, and looked up. He was seated on the opposite couch. She sat up. How wonderful.

 

She stood, walked over in front of him, said 'Some guys, you know. Unbelievable.' and stormed off, leaving a totally flabbergasted Callodyn the Cherubim wondering just what had transpired.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

The Dark Fellowship of Satan’s Brooding Love

 

‘Satan. Overlord of evil. Prince of Darkness. Master of the fowl. And, with many such epitaphs, this dark figure has supposedly been a menace to humanity for the last several thousand years. Of course, the rationale mind rejects such fantasies, simply regarding them as a product of overly fertile and zealous Jewish visionaries. But, nevertheless, this exhibit before us will be the subject of your next essay, dear students, so leave me riveted. Gothic Horror 101 demands nothing less from you.’

 

The 20 odd students gazed with wonderment at the displays of the lord of evil, the horns being fondly remarked upon, but Jessica White was riveted like no other. She had been a Goth since high school, and now at University studying literature, she had chosen a subject she hoped to write extensively on in later years. And the devil – well could there really be any better a subject.

 

Mr Smithers spoke again. ‘Remember, make it worthy of the Lord of the Dark. Bonus marks if you shock me.’

 

‘I think I can do that,’ Jessica thought to herself.

 

* * * * *

 

‘What’s with the black candles, Jess? Are we having another séance.’

‘No, Jack. They are to put me in a mood for my writing. I want as dark a spirit in the place as possible. I am writing on Satan.’

‘Ooh. Hey, why not draw a pentagram on the floor and summon him. That will get you in the mood if nothing else does.’

She looked at him squarely to start with to suggest he grow up but, giving it a thought, suddenly liked the idea.

‘Sure. Why not. Just for the hell of it.’

Jessica took some chalk from her drawer, locked the door to her room, dimmed the lights and drew a pentagram on the floor.

‘Say something Jess. You know, invite him. Summon him.’

She looked at Jack, her boyfriend, and decided she may as well go all the way.

 

They sat around the pentagram, raised their hands in front of them, and she said. ‘Satan. Lord of Evil. Prince of Darkness. We summon thee. Come forth and…. And do what you do.’

She looked at Jack who was grinning. ‘There. Satisfied.’

He smiled. ‘Hey, you never know.’

 

* * * * *

 

It was later on that night, after she had blown Jack and he had gone down on her, with her favourite band Sirenia playing in the background, that she felt inspired. Truly inspired.

 

And, typing away on her PC, she was oblivious to the dark spirit who had entered the room and was staring at her. It was the dark one himself.

 

‘Jessica White,’ he said to himself, looking at the name on one of the folders. ‘A Goth girl. I suppose I could give her a rush. He came over to her, inhabited her body, as he had been summoned and had legal rights because of it with his standing protocols with heaven, and got to work.

 

Suddenly Jessica felt very turned on. Very.

 

She moaned and felt wet in her vagina. She needed to fuck. She needed to fuck badly. And, putting on ‘The 13^th Floor’, turning to the track ‘Lost in Life’, as Sirenia played in the background, she writhed on her bed as she plunged the black and red vibrator again and again into her womanhood, her orgasms getting stronger and stronger. Suddenly, at the peak of her greatest ecstasy, she yelled ‘Oh fuck, Satan. I love you.’ And then, the pleasure being too much, she passed out.

 

* * * * *

 

Later on, back in the dark place, Satan was chatting with Lucifer his Saruvim brother. ‘She was good. Real good. And you know how I like the raven haired ones. They always remind me of Amy Lee.’

‘You get all the best chick’s’ said Lucifer. ‘Usually blokes who call upon me. Looking for power.’

‘Hey, I’m the fucking devil, so don’t forget it Lucifer.’

‘I won’t, oh lord of darkness.’

And they both started chuckling.

 

* * * * *

 

Jessica White tried summoning Satan again later on that month, but this time he didn’t show. But she fucked Jack hard that night anyway, and had come to a truth in the life of Jessica White. She may have come from a good and upright Christian family, one which feared God and supposedly shunned evil. But it was the dark fellowship of Satan’s brooding love which had captured her heart. And while she knew it could cost her her very soul, it was a temptation which she knew would claim her. For whatever else, what could be compared to the orgasmic ecstasy of dark love? What else indeed?

 

The End

 

 

 

 

David the Daggiest Dag in Dagdom

 

David Rothchild – The Seraphim Angel Ambriel of the Infinite Realm of Majesty – had had enough. Well and truly had fucking had enough. Why the hell, just because he was God’s sacred and chosen beloved Messiah – why the hell should he work his ass off on love, mercy, kindness, good ethics, lawfulness, work responsibility, politeness, charity – and every other bloody good work the Lord had called him to – when everyone else didn’t, in the end, give that much of a damn.

 

And so, one fine Sunday afternoon in the Realm of Eternity, in a year almost beyond counting since the birth of the realm, Ambriel got up, put on his clothes, went to the local mall, bought several pairs of cheap t-shirts, slack track pants, cheap sneakers and, then visiting Hungry Jacks, ordering two to many burgers and an extra large coke, David began the life of the daggiest dag in dagdom.

 

Four years later, sitting on his couch in his large lounge, snoozing, cold pizza with tomato stains sitting on his t-shirt, a few bottles of coca cola lying around half drunk, the porno channel on pay tv showing a classic, Meludiel came into the room, finally admitted her frustration and said ‘enough’s enough’.

 

Ambriel caught up with her again a few weeks later. She was predictably staying with Daniel who was happily schmoozing with her every night. But Ambriel didn’t care, and Rebecca noted he smelled somewhat as well.

 

But, David Rothchild was happy. The pressure had finally relented from the Most High who now claimed his witness was intact and complete and that David could do whatever the heck he liked for a good long while. And so David did.

 

He farted a lot. It was the food he ate.

 

He occasionally swore now, something once deemed impossible for Ambriel.

 

He visited a gay bar at one of the outer discs, a new experience, and wondered if he would actually go through with an old dare to check it out.

 

He bedded prostitutes regularly.

 

And he got drunk most nights, watching porn with his new companion Michael who God had sent in to cheer him up, wasting his hard earned money (but not really, as his royalties and shares were now mind boggling) and just being a regular Tom Foolsbody.

 

And he was actually happy.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

Ambriel

 

60 Amazing Worlds of Amazing love.

 

'Ambriel, why do you insist that love is the answer?'

 

'Why do you ask, said the King of the 60 Worlds of Amazing Love.'

 

 

'Because Law is the answer,' said the angel Marckonyel. 'And I should know.

Without Law, it is only misrule.'

 

Ambriel put on 'Behind the Mask,' by Michael on the CD player, and they sat there.

 

 

'Who do you love, Marky Mark? Is it me?' Ambriel, the King of Love asked him.

 

'Dream on. Jezandreal is the girl for me.'

 

'You love her.'

 

'Of course,' said Marckonyel.

 

 

'Then there is your answer.'

 

 

 

 

'Humph,' said Marckonyel.

 

The 60 Worlds of Amazing love expanded each generation, with the new increase in population,

all shaped in a universal diamond. They were Holy, Pure and the love of Ambriel. They were

God's special, eternal, Creation, were the 60 Archangels of Love ruled forever.

 

60.

 

Holy.

 

Pure.

 

Perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

And then Marckonyel showed up the next day and wrote down this number.

 

70.

 

 

'At least that represents the bloody Torah,' said Marckonyel.

 

'But Ambriel would only smile.

 

 

 

 

Marckonyel left, satisfied.

 

Ambriel prayed love after him.

 

And that was that.

 

 

 

 

Love conquers all.

 

Love is supreme.

 

Love is perfect.

 

Love is everything.

 

 

 

Bloody 70, said Ambriel. But I luv yu anyway, you luvverly number.

 

 

 

And in heaven, the Almighty, playing cards with Wormdog, noticed the point Ambriel

said and Marckonyel's objections, and thought. Ok, then. You love 70 as well.

 

Ok.

 

 

Ok.

 

 

OK.

 

 

 

The End

 

 

 

 

To Sir with Love

 

 

 

Lulu sat with Tina and Jessica. Adam was on stage. Davriel. They loved him.

So very much, so incredibly much, so perfectly much, they loved him.

 

Their Taheb. Their teacher. Their Love.

 

 

 

'Sir,' said the lady on stage. 'We want to sing a song for you. This lovely

and proud Samaritan College have a song for you, Adam. We have a song for you.

 

 

 

 

And Lulu, Tina and Jessica came up to the stage, and they began.

 

'To Sir With Love.'

 

 

And the Glory of God bellowed in the heavenlies, because he was suddenly

in a VERY good mood.

 

 

'You know, children,' said Adam, addressing the crowd. 'These years have been

very, very good for me. I have taught lessons, I have taught truths, I have taught

doctrines, I have taught love.'

 

'And for you, my heart, I will continue on forever. And the Words I speak, will

always be true. And the Words I speak, will always be for you.'

 

 

 

 

Down the back Daniel and Saruviel sat with Michael and Ambriel and Gabriel.

 

The Theophany was sitting with them, at the desks, and they were all scribbling

on the desks, writing there favourite heavy metal bands on them.

 

'Slayer rule,' said Saruviel.

 

'Bon Jovi Kick there arse,' said Daniel.

 

'Wham rule,' said Ambriel.

 

'Yeh, as heavy as you get,' said Saruviel.

 

'Go Iron Maiden,' said Michael.

 

'Nah, Def Leppard are the best,' said Gabriel.

 

They all looked at God.

 

 

 

'Well, I always liked the Beatles,' said God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

'But I do like those Spice Girls.'

 

 

 

 

 

'Very funny,' said Daniel. 'The Spice Girls? What kind of dork likes the Spice Girls.'

 

 

 

'Oh, shut up Daniel San,' said Michael.

 

 

 

'Amen, to that,' said God the Father, the Glory, the Heavenly, the Alleluia, the Amen, the Beginning the End, the Alpha, the Omege, the Supreme, the Perfect, the Holy, the Unbelievable, the Amazing, the Source, the Power, the Truth, the Way, the Life, the Word of Divine excellence, the God of God's, the King of Kings, the Sovereign Surpeme in every, amazing, unbelievable, the Supreme one.

 

 

DAD.

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

Melaniel the Magnificent Child of Majesty

 

 

Melanie was a Spice Girl, as well as being the angel Melaniel, twin to Yomiel.

Mel B. An intense bloody wunderkid of extreme sarcasm, these days

especially, and a really scarey sexuality. Boy did she impress the boys.

 

She lived in the Infinite Realm of Majesty, currently had a crush on Raguel, the Archangel Firstborn

of the Realm, whom she called cute, and was living the life. The intense life of number one Spice

Girl, Queen of Fashion, Queen of Fitness, Queen of her own vanity to many, but she was humble

and lovely about it all. Eddie showed up, a lot, cracking jokes, playing those bloody Crazy Frog

tunes, and crapping on about Beverly Hills Cop 700 and something, were they were currently

up to, one of the more popular series. And their daughter Angel was huge, at the moment,

celebrity superstar rising up to challenge mum, if at all possible.

 

She had work on the Australian X Factor constantly, arguing with Nat Bass, smiling at that

cute Guy Sebastian, singing with Ronan a lot, which made the audience always smile, and

being generally cool, controversial, and usually the most popular on the show. Usually.

 

She had a good life, felt like she was a magnificent child of majesty, a child of God most

high, and loved her life and everything in it, had a state of mind that she was were she needed

to be, and was doing what she was supposed to be doing, working constantly on her new

albums for both her solo identity and with the Spicies, and, for the most part, content with

all and sundry which wandered into the world of Melanie the Magnificent.

 

And then there was the Universal Truth Assembly, and a very weird Daniel Daly, who constantly

asked her to join, and this particular Seraphim Angel, which she knew vaguely from earlier years,

seemed to have a passion for her like few others.

 

She would consider him.

 

 

 

Melanie, in the end, was happy with life. She was happy with the Infinite Realm of Majesty.

She was happy with Raguel. She was happy with God.

 

But a crossroads was coming up for Melanie, a time of a challenge, a time of a new beginning,

perhaps even a new love.

 

A time of a new destiny.

 

And life, for this child of gentle humour, would never be quite the same again.

 

It would seem.

 

The End

 

 

 

Angel

 

 

Daniel looked at Angel. She was a minxy little thing. He really was not sure, really, wether

he should crack onto her or not. I mean, come on, you couldn't chase a child and her mother.

That was unscriptural. Certainly a sin. Certainly.

 

Yet he gawked at her anyway, over in the backup singing section of the Spice Girls rehearsal

studio here in the heart of Joniquay, noticing her gentle manner, her beautiful looks, and

feminine beauty. Gosh, like her mother, she was hot. He couldn't. He shouldn't. He did.

 

 

'Hey babe,' he said.

Angel Smiled at him.

 

'You know, I like your mother. Always have. But you and me could be good together.'

'I like you Daniel. But you know, keep on dreaming. Not after my mum. No way in

hell.'

'I know what you are saying. I have similar convictions. I suppose that is the nature of

truth in the end. And Torah might be right in many ways. Perhaps it does speak on these

human truths. These truths of nature.'

 

'It would just be fucking weird,' said Angel, but smiled at him anyway, and just shook her head.

 

'I mean, leave mum alone, for a long time,' she said, and turned to look at the song leader.

 

They started up playing, and Angel turned back to him. 'Leave mum alone. And maybe, ok.

Someday. Maybe. Your ok.'

 

'Cool,' said Daniel.

 

He left off, put on his CD Walkman, clicked on to track 7 of the album 'Michael' by

Michael Jackson, and got out to his Aston Martin, took off for home, and was thinking

of Angel all the time.

 

Perhaps he did like her more than her mother. Perhaps he liked them both. But, fuck,

that was weird. Wasn't it. And that was the truth, wasn't it. The universal truth, wasn't

it? The Truth.

 

He buzzed along, thought it over, but reached no conclusion. Not that day, anyway.

Take some time to think about it. Maybe write some doctrine on the idea. Talk with

the elders in the Assembly about it. The truth of that particular issue, something long

left alone due to Rainbow Torah concerns, particularly from the Assembly of the Living

God who judged the UTA quite a bit on non-absolute RT issues. They were concerned -

they didn't want to be affected by judgements of Israel.

 

And that was the truth.

 

Wasn't it.

 

The Truth.

 

MMMMMmmmm.

 

The End

 

 

 

The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

 

 

Madelaine Costigan sat with Prime Possum, who was drunk, off his face, almost tempted,

so he whispered her, to get stuck into the Win Wombat. Winnie was cute, so Prime

said. Gemma the Gem Girl, who dressed as a fairy in green, was also on Prime's hit list.

'And I suppose you fancy Go Gorilla as well,' suggested Madelaine.

Prime whispered in her ear. 'You know I'm not gay, but I will keep that in mind.'

'Mmm,' nodded Madelaine. 'Very funny, poss. we have a show to get to in 5 hours. You

gonna be up for it.'

'I'll need some Possum Coffee,' he whispered in her ear.'

She went off to the Prime Kitchenette, and she used the teaspoon to heap in the coffee

she thought on her situation in life. Here she was, living in the Infinite 'Realm of Majesty,

stuck in Canberra, as always, living here forever it seemed. She got to travel with her

job occasionally, which she enjoyed, but she sometimes wondered if there was more to

life. Stacie Orrico was probably right. There probably was. But what could she do about

it? It was strange. She was an attractive lady, yet men seemed somewhat elusive.

Unable to nab that permanent partner. Still, someone would come along some day.

She gave Prime the coffee, and he sipped it down, and nodded at her. 'I feel better,'

he whispered to her.

 

 

Later on at home, looking through the mail, she found the flyer. 'Universal Truth

Assembly. Need the meaning? Need the point? Need the truth? Need the

answer? Try us. We studied the lot.

 

An interesting theological boast, she thought to herself. They studied the lot. Really.

Well, if they did, they would surely have the romance answers she needed. But

she doubted it. Still, it was an older movement in the Realm of Majesty, now, and

seemed to be growing. She ran into some of them from time to time. Strict

in some ways, loving. Very honest. Very, very honest about it all. Perhaps that

was their greatest virtue after all.

 

She looked at the flyer, thought 'What the heck,' dialled the number and as a

voice answered and said Hello, she said, 'Hi. This is Madelaine. I need the

truth.'

 

And that was the beginning of a whole new adventure.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

The X Factor

 

Natalie Bassingthwaite looked at the nude picture of Shannon Noll.

'What you doing with at?' asked Melanie, coming into the girls dressing room.

'Oh shit,' said Natalie, and quickly tried to hide the magazine.

'You naughty girl,' said Melanie. 'What would Mrs Noll say?'

'Shut up,' said the embarassed Natalie. 'I can't help it. He's so cute.'

'You've been tryin to get im on X Factor for years. But he's contracted to

the other channel.'

'Contracts don't last forever,' said Natalie. 'Of all people you should know

that. In this topsy turvy world of celebrity.'

'Aye. I do. But Shannon likes the work at the other place, we are not

legally allowed to mention.'

She pulled out the magazine and continued staring at her agelong crush.

'His, um, thing,' said Melanie. 'I'll bet you'd like to get your hands on it

then.'

Natalie drooled, and Melanie B just smiled.

'I'll bet you'd like to wrap your luscious lips all around his hot...

'Melanie Brown,' she interrupted savagely. 'Keep your mind out of the

gutter.'

'Ay, I don't think it's my mind at's in the gutter.'

Natalie glared at her, and returned to the pornographic picture.

 

'Forget it,' said Melanie. 'You'll never nab him. He's the faithful kind.'

'I know,' said Natalie. 'But we are so good together. He's what I need.'

'Is that the truth, then? He's what you need? There are plenty of other

fish in the sea.'

'I know. But Shannon is a suitable mate. We have a cultural identity

together. An historical match musically. That works well, I think.'

'You'll get over it,' said Melanie. 'Its just a crush. They finish in the end.

So many of my fans have come and gone, realizing in the end they loved

the image of Melanie Brown, and not Melanie Brown.'

'Its not the same,' said Natalie. 'We get along amazingly well.'

'Then marry him then. Be his second wife.'

'Oh, I couldn't do that. No. No thats not right.'

'Oh, so that's the truth then. Monogamy.'

Natalie looked at Melanie. 'Well, yes. It is, isn't it? That's the right way in the

end, isn't it?'

Melanie looked at her, but did not answer. '5 minutes till show,' she said.

'And you better hide the magazine.'

 

Natalie looked one last time over Shannon's glory, and hid the magazine,

and got to her work. But it was a flame of love soon to erupt into quite a scene

of true X Factor controversy. And for Natalie to survive the impending scandal,

she would need the X Factor itself, for the scathings of the paparazzi and the

media, in true Realm style, were sure to be quite intense indeed.

 

And the show went on, and Natalie went home, and gawked at her picture

of Shannon on her bedroom wall, and life went on. And Shannon Noll

was still none the wiser.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

Actually, Love

 

Sariel studied the scroll of Daranok that Gloryel had given to him.

'Wisdom of a demon,' he thought to himself.

'Who do you love? Is it me?' Gloryel asked him.

'Oh, most definitely you. But if Janet Jackson becomes available, let me know, ok.'

'Brother,' she said.

 

 

'You know, Geraldine, as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, I have an awful

amount of things to do.'

'What is your point?' she asked, eating a banana.

'I hardly have time to study this thing.'

'Oh, its good. Daranok has gotten over it. He's now showing, well, a lot of love, actually.'

'Well that is good,' said Sariel.

 

'I have a joke for you,' said Sariel. 'Daniel told it to me. What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other?'

Gloryel shrugged.

'Ilene,' he said.

She smiled.

'And what do you call a chinese lady with one leg shorter than the other?'

She shrugged again.

'Irene,' he said.

'Oh, thats racist, she said, but she giggled anyway.

 

'So. Will you apply for Arch Regency? the millennia is nearly over,' Gloryel asked him.

'I think Yomiel is pushing for it,' responded the Prime Minister.

'Well. Challenge him.'

'Mmm. Maybe. Probably not. He has not served in the position before, and I have had a number of terms in office. Perhaps

I should let it go this time.'

'That's not the Sariel I know,' said Gloryel. 'The Sariel I know is always up for the work. Always ready to be responsible.'

'But maybe Yomiel is as well, dear Gloryel. Maybe he likes the glory also.'

She looked at him, considered challenging the statement, but softened. 'I suppose so. But I think I would, ok. Just to let

you know. I would claim as much as possible. Let others work hard for it. Why be so soft.'

'Because all you need is love,' said Sariel.

 

She sat down next to him. 'But I love the glory, Hugh. Don't settle for second best. Be number one.'

 

'And Love forgives all things,' responded Hugh.

 

'There can be only one,' smiled geri, playing the game somewhat.

 

'And love conquers all,' said Hugh.

 

'Yet I am the one, the only one, I am the God of Kingdom Come,' she said, with a strong dose of loving surrrendered sarcasm.

 

'And I love you forever, Glory child. I love you forever.'

 

'And always,' she responded.

 

And she kissed him, and they settled down for the evening, and all was good and wonderful and holy and perfect and loving

and eternal. And complete.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

U.K. State of Mind

 

Scragging around Leeds, on a pub run, doing bugger all, getting drunk, Emma looking wild with Jovius, Geri laughing at Daniel's stupid jokes, and David Rothchild doing his best impersonation of a Saint, abstaining, promising to drive them all home, Melanie Brown was in a good mood.

 

'Hey. Lets drive to Hull,' said Daniel.

 

'We can't do that,' said David. 'Its too late, and I promised Ruth we would get home by Midnight.'

 

'Fuck it,' said Melanie, and took the next left, and as they headed off for the Unitary Authority, Daniel grinned, and David took out his mobile, sent a text message to his great grandmother of several generations, and looked out the window at the passing city, which slowly melded into countryside as they took off to Hull.

 

 

 

The city was dead when they arrived, but Daniel knew a quiet pub which had 24 hour drinking rights, 'Sleazos', and they crawled in, still only mildly intoxicated, and sat down near the back, but the Rolling Stones Jumping Jack Flash on the jukebox, and ordered beers, ales, soft drink for David and other beverages.

 

'So, David. How do you know Daniel?' Melanie asked Mr Rothchild.

'Old friends. From years ago,' said the Computer programmer. 'We designed 'Realm Wars' together, with a friend of mine in my company. John Karamoss.'

'Realm Wars?' asked Melanie, looking at Daniel. 'That's not that Megadrive success series, is it?'

'We design them,' said David, sipping on his Coca Cola. 'Daniel occasionally contributes these days, ideas and stuff, but Xadonemmetry Video Games produces them.'

'We're partners in Xadonemmetry,' said Daniel. 'I take a 45% cut for all the original design and copyright principles, but they mostly do the work now. A good deal for me, somewhat, but I have a minimum contribution requirement for each instalment to honour the contract.'

'He usually gets the job done,' said David, looking at his old friend.

 

'Realm Wars rules,' said Jovius. 'But you need to expand to X-Box. Far greater power.'

'Not needed,' said Daniel. 'The limitations of the game as it was conceived, restricted it to Megadrive capabilities by deliberate choice. It's an ethical principle I wanted with it.'

'Why?' asked Geri, taking an interest.

'Because I have a fond heart towards my old Commodore 64, and really wanted to think about the reasonable limits of gaming possibilities within its standard framework.'

'Ethics,' said Geri. 'Well, how many disks is the maximum for TIB Drive C64 games?'

'45,' said Daniel.

'60,' said David.

'Well I think 50 is perfect,' said Melanie.

'One Million,' said Emma, cheekily.

The group laughed at that.

 

'So what is John like?' asked Melanie, eager to take a possible opportunity.

'He's a good guy,' said David.

'Funny,' said Daniel.

'And the three of you work well together?' she inquired further.

David looked at Daniel. 'Pretty much.'

'Will you design U.K. State of Mind for me? I have pages of notes for the project. I need a competent designer.'

'What's it about?' asked David.

'The Spice Girl fanclubs at war from the U.K., on political and business agendas, to claim world glory. I need online interaction in a Sim City variant. I have heaps of pages on it. Key business strategies are meant to be music, fashion, makeup and sports related, as well as jewellery and other girlie things. The object is for it to develop into status points in the U.K. state of Mind Universe for ever increasing rights and priveliges. And I need heaps of fun subgames.'

'Sounds ok,' said David.

'And the album is the soundtrack, ok.'

'Cool,' said David.

 

They partied into the wee hours, and when Melanie got home early the following morning, her head was full of soon to be realized ambitions of even greater glory for the magnificent Melaniel the Spice Girl.

 

The End

 

 

 

Stuck in Hull

 

Melaniel watched the fly climb slowly up the wall.  It poked around for a bit and then took off again, and shortly disappeared out the window.  She looked out after it and then returned her gaze to the wall.  There WERE posters on it,at least.  There WAS something to look at. But bugger all else.  She sat there,bored.  Finally she turned to the one way glass mirror on the opposite wall which she couldn't see through.  'I hope you are enjoying this,' she said out loud.  'It sure bores the fuck out of me,' she said under her breath.'

A voice came over an intercom.  'Remember, Melanie.  We're not here.  For the exercise you have to think you are alone.'

'Yeh, right.  Whatever,' she said.

 

She looked around the room, and finally noticed the little box under the other lounge seat.

'She's noticed it,' a voice said in the control room.

'Get cameras on her face.  We don't want to miss anything,' said the other.

 

As the hidden ones watched, Melanie B got down on her knees, retrieved the tin box and looked at it.  There was a lock on it.  A combination lock of 3 digits.

'For fuck's sake,' she said swearing, but starting at 000 she worked through her numbers only to screech 'Bastards' as the number 986 finally undid the lock.

She glared at the one way mirror.  Inside David almost smiled.

'She's cute when she's angry,' said Daniel.

David nodded in agreement.

 

The box open she found the note.  376 x 123,489 - 456,722 =

 

She glared at the mirror again.  She hated maths questions.

 

But as she worked it out slowly she came to 45,975,142, and typed that into the pad against the locked door.  She hit the accept button and, watching nervously, the door bolted open.

'Alleluia,' she said.  'At fucking last.'  She walked through and the door quickly closed behind her.  In the new room, much the same again, but a toilet in a small cubicle with a shower and soap, and a tiny kitchenette with a fridge.  She quickly looked inside.  17 Mars bars, a pint of fresh milk, and one egg and lettuce sandwich.  She poured herself a glass of water and sat down eating the sandwich.  Then she looked at the bookcase and noted the various items and looked at the small mattress on the floor.  There was a light sheet and one pillow.  But it was warm enough inside, so she would be fine.  And then she looked at the other door and noticed the same electronic lock, and started figuring this was probably how the rest of the challenge would go. And, of course, Daniel and David would be behind the mirror in this room also.

'How many rooms?' she asked the mirror, munching on her sandwich.

 

'We can't really tell her that,' said Daniel to David.

'But we don't want to piss her off.  It doesn't have to be 100% lifelike.  Its only research for a videogame in the end.  We can give her a break,' said David.

'Fine.  Ok,' said Daniel.

David's voice came over the intercom.  'There are12.  But we shouldn't have told you that.'

'Right,' said Melanie to herself, and summed up the challenge.  12 rooms, probably all the same size, and an increasing challenge to crack the number code each time.  Still, for the sake of 'UK state of mind', someone had to do it.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Room 5.  Melanie was stumped.  It had taken two days to work out room two, a whole week for room three, and 17 days for room four.  She had been in room 5 for a full month and no solution, and her supplies in this room were starting to run low.  And the sign on the wall reading 'It's obvious' was really starting to piss her off.  She had insulted the mirror more than once because of it.

Finally she caved.  She looked into the mirror and asked, 'What is so obvious, then?'

The intercom came on and a voice said, 'That you're stupid.'

She glared at the mirror, but kept her tongue for once.

'That wasn't very nice, Daniel,' said David in the control room.

'She's thick as a brick.  This is one of the easier ones.'

'She just hasn't worked it out yet,' said David.  He spoke into the intercom.  'It's a lot easier than you think, Mel.  Keep this one simple.'

'Easy for you to say,' said Melanie, and hooked into a Mars bar.

 

She sat on the couch, looking around the room.  'What is so obvious then?' she asked herself.  Three bookcases, no clues on any book pages.  A desk with their notes.  A computer with Microsoft on it but one file which reads 'try again'.  And an assortment of knick knacks.  But no bloody clues.  I mean, why is room number five so obvious?' she asked herself.

A thought suddenly struck her.  Obvious about room 5.  No it couldn't be that simple.

She stood, walked to the number panel, shrugged, typed in the number 5 and hit the button.  And the door jolted open.  She smiled, but before she left the room she walked over to the mirror, said, 'bastards,' and went on to the next challenge.

'She's worked it out at last!' exclaimed Daniel.

'See, she's not that stupid,' responded David smiling.

'We'll see,' said Daniel.  'Let's see if she can work out room six.'

'Yes, let's,' said David, as they slid their seats down the control desk to the next room's viewing mirror.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

'Room nine and doing fine,' she said to herself.  5 months of crypticity and intense logic and Melanie Janine Mandela Brown was a new woman.  But how long she would be stuck in Hull in this conundrum of a maze yet she did not know.  Still, she was stronger and harder for the experience so far and would not quit.  No way would she ever, now, press the big red 'Escape' button on each room's wall.  No way.

 

'Are you enjoying yourself?' asked a voice over the intercom.  'You don't look like you have bothered with anything yet?'

Melanie ignored the voice and continued watching 'Spiceworld 7' on the DVD player.  All 25 were on the rack.

'I'll get to it,' she finally replied.

 

In the control room, David turned to Daniel.  'You think she really will watch all 25 of them?'

'Instinctive, I'd say.  She must know.'

 

A few days later, putting in the final disc and settling down for the girls ultimate adventure, the disc simply failed to show any screen.  She cleaned the disc, but nothing.

'Bastards,' she yelled at the mirror.  Daniel and David were used to that.  And then she looked more carefully at what she thought was the clock on the top left of the screen, and noticed it was in fact just a number.  She read it to herself, typed it into the keypad, pressed the button, and the door yet again jolted open.  She went to the mirror, smiled, shook her head and was just about to speak when Daniel's voice came over the intercom, saying, 'Don't say it.  We know.  Bastards.'

'Exactly,' said Melanie B, and hopped off to room nine.

 

'She might even make it,' said David.

'Room 12 will get her.  She is only a Spice Girl,' said Daniel.

'You really are a bastard, aren't you,' said David.

'Exactly,' responded Daniel, grinning madly.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

1 year nearly up, and she didn't have much time left, for that was the maximun duration of the challenge.  And as she finally exited room 11 in triumph, she looked at the clock.  2 hours to midnight.  The last day.

'You haven't a hope,' said Daniel over the intercom.'

The room was full of thousands of books, and a few other minor items.  She took a coke from the new fridge, collapsed on the bed and gazed at the room.  It had been a valiant effort, but she couldn't possibly hope to win now.  They had bested her.  She laid there, almost sobbing.  All that work.  All that struggle.  To fall just short, after all that effort.  Life really was ironic.  Thanks Alanis Morrisette.  She looked up at the ceiling, cried out 'give me a break,' and turned over sobbing.

 

Nearly two hours later she was quiet.  Humbled.  She had come so far, only to fall just short.  How bloody ironic.  She looked at the clock.  10 minutes to go.  She would have to put on a brave face.

 

She sat up, looked around the room one last time, and then gave up, sitting their glumly.  What else could she do.

 

And then, a quiet little voice, whispered into the back of her mind, 'Try the scroll.'  Another voice responded to the first one, though, and said, 'Don't bloody tell her, ok.  Cheat.'

Reluctantly Melanie got to her feet, retrieved the one and only scroll from the bookcase, and unrolling it read, 'Beginning of beginnings, the start of an endless journey.  The answer you seek is on the first day you were born.'

 

Melanie cogitated.

 

'Try your birthdate, dimwit,' a voice said over the intercom.

She got up quickly, punched in her birthdate and started hearing the chimes from the grandfather clock start chiming to 12.

'Shit,' she said, as she had entered the wrong date.

'Come on Melanie.  You can do this,' she said, calming herself down.  And as she correctly entered her birthdate and hit the button, the door jolted open and she burst through just before the 12th chime.

 

All of a sudden a huge bang and rushing into the room came Geri, Melanie C, Victoria and Emma and many other familiar faces, all crashing into her, clapping her and patting her on the back.  And 'Wannabe' started playing, and party food was brought out.

 

And, finally, Daniel and David appeared, and David smiled at her,  'Brilliant, Melanie Brown,' he said, and she hugged him.  But Daniel looked at her and said, 'You just got lucky, kid.'

Melanie stared at her adversary, took David by the arm and flirted back to Daniel, saying, 'Unlike YOU tonight, KID!'

And she laughed madly, escaping away with her night's lover, leaving a mad Daniel grinning and shaking his head, saying, 'Bastard.'

 

And then Geri grabbed him, gave him a kiss, and said 'Come on lover.  I'll give you a break,' and the following year UK State of Mind was a smash hit all summer long.

 

The End 

 

 

Confused

 

'So.  Will you be faithful?'

David. lying along Melaniel in their rather lavish bed in eastern Hull, was confused.  Are we together now, you mean?  That this is something serious?'

Melaniel sat up, stared at him in silence for a few moments, then got up naked and walked ver to the fridge in the rather expensive hotel suite.  It was summer in Hull at the moment, and it was almost hot for an English climate.  She even had a bit  of sweat on her.

She returned to the bed, drinking a can of Sprite, and looked over him, lying there, naked.  She was aroused.

 

'I'm with someone,' he said, turning over.

'Meludiel?' she asked him.

''Usually.  But not at the moment.  It's a girl I feel like I've known many a lifetime.  Justine.  Justine Atkinson.  We're - together.'

'But you cheated,' said Melanie, whose hand had drifted down to his crotch, and she was stroking him.

'Yeh.  I cheated.  Forgive me.  I'm an old man now.  It doesn't change my fidelity to Justine.'

Melanie continued pumping, and put her mouth down and took him in.  She spoke again.  'If I can give you your best orgasm in years, leave her. Stay with me for a while.  Date me for a while.'

'Sure thing honey,' said David casually.

And then, in response, Melanie went wild, and her hands and tongue were all over his body, she slid her breasts all down his front, and then took his cock inside her mouth and sucked until he groaned quite loudly and let loose into her mouth.

'Holy fuck!' he exclaimed.

'I save these ones.  Spend some time with me,' she said.  'UK State of mind will be finished soon enough, and we can live here for a while.  Stuck in Hull.  You know, maybe have a couple of kids together.  A change for David.'

'You'll pray for eggs?' he asked her.

'I'll even fill out the form for the department of fertility.  Just to make it completely official.  We'll make an official request for 2 children.  I'm sure God won't mind the work.'

David went and got showered, and soon was in front of her, starting to dress - day was starting to dawn.

'Look.  Let me think about it, ok.  Its a change.  I have been settled with Justine for a long while now.  Haven't been looking for change.  But I'll think about it.'

'Do,' said Melanie, and went off to shower.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

'What, you think you have feelings for Melanie?' asked Daniel from behind the control panel, as they started retrieving some of the key data from their year long studies on the challenge set Melaniel.

'No.  Not really.  But she wants some time together.  I don't know.  I love Justine at the moment.'

'Is she good in bed?' Daniel asked David.

'I'm not that simple,' said David in response.

Daniel turned to him.  'Some times it really is that fucking simple, bro.  Some times it really is that simple.'

David stared at him, considering the point.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

Opening the door to the ring of the bell for her Eastern Hull Apartment, Melaniel looked at David standing there, a moving truck down on the road, smiling like a fool.

'What gives?' she asked.

'You want a fuckbuddy.  I'll be your fuckbuddy.'

'Crude bastard,' she said, bringing him inside.

 

She looked at him.  'Sex.  Your moving in with me to have lots of sex.'

'It's what you wanted, isn't it?'

'Well try not to be so bleeding obvious about it all.  You know what the neighbours might say.'

'I'll keep a lid on it,' said David.

 

As his stuff moved in that afternoon, Melanie kept on looking at David, sitting in her lounge, typing away at his laptop, the afternoon light shining upon him.  He looked cute.  She was randy.

 

When the movers had finished their bit, she sidled over to him, put her arm around him and asked him, 'Well, lover.  Are you in the mood for it?'

And, of all the ironies, David turned to her and said, 'Busy at the moment.  Lot of work to do.  We'll do something later sweetcheeks,' and returned his focus to his laptop.

'Brilliant,' said Melanie sarcastically, and picked an apple from the fruit bowl, bit into it and, munching down the fruit looked at David and realized he would not be that easy a nut to crack after all.

 

So she would have to get 'Serious'.

 

The End

 

 

 

Bedding David Rothchild

 

'I'm not that easy, Melanie Brown.'

'I'm sure your not,' she said, and took another puff on her cigarette.  She was smoking Port Royal at the moment, and rolling her own ciggies, as she had gone off the pre-made cigarettes for a while, 'Tailors' as they were called, being 'Tailor-Made'.  She looked at David, took a swig from her honeycomb schnappz, took another puff on her ciggie, and said it again.  'You will be in my pants tonight, for you find me irresistible, right?'

'Are you trying to be the female Terminator?'  David asked her.

'The Terminatrix?' she asked him.

'Very funny,' he responded, and left his laptop and came and sat next to her.  He took her hand, kissed it and said 'My fair lady.  While you scare the living dickens out of me many a day, your charm's are indeed legendary.  I would be honoured to bed you this evening.  Except, unfortunately, work committments intervene.  Surely a maiden as accustomed to the real workings of society understands such an important truth.'

She got down on her knees, undid his zip, and looked up at him as he didn't resist.  'I watched 'Student Services' last night.  A French film.  The student had to work to make a buck as well.  Fuck for a buck, literally, if you know what I mean.'

'I am familiar with the film,' he responded, looking down at her as her hand started stroking his released member.

'Well, I promise you a divine encounter which would make her blush.  Just stay home tonight.  I am in the mood.  Come on, Davie.'  And then she took him in her mouth, and soon he couldn't take the pressure, and his groan and eruption into her mouth told her she had claimed her victory.

 

She came back from the shower, and he looked drained, funnily enough, but he shook his head.  'Sorry Mel.  I really appreciate that, but work is a priority at the moment.  I am still building up a portfolio of products for our firm, and these are the crucial years for many of us in the Realm of Majesty.  As you know there is a diversity of Copyrights still available, and the blessings for those people who can nab the remaining copyrights of decent nature are enormous in the eternal before us.  I won't ever have to work again later on and can afford a 'world-changing' income from all the things we have created.'

She sat down next to him.  'Fine.  A Spice Girl does actually understand your situation.  We have many albums, and solo projects.  For me it is mostly a done deal.  But the games we are doing are something to embellish it all.  So I won't interfere with your work, David.  But I'll nab you.  When you least expect it as well.'

David caressed her arm and kissed it, and then, to repay her generous act, he got down likewise on his knees, lifted up her skirt, pulled down her knickers, and as she put her hands on his head which she liked to do, he flicked her clitoris with his tongue, and brought her to a happy and blissful orgasm.

'Oh, fuck.  That was good,' she said.

'I live to serve,' he responded, and went off to have another shower.

 

*   *   *   *   *

 

For four months, though, he was busy.  Always working.  And he left her sexual frustrations to the private collection of sex toys hidden in her closet.  Yet, as time passed, she craved intimacy.  She needed some.  So she kept it very simple.  Time to impress him.

 

 

He was at work, designing new screens of action in his current project, when Melanie walked in, dressed in a short green skirt and green bikini top, with her hair tied up in a bob on top.  God, she looked hot.

She came into his work cubicle, sat down on the lounge chair for guests, and when he looked at her, he noticed her legs were spread = and she had no knickers on.

'Uh, Melanie.  Your a bit of a distraction, don't you think?'

'Oh, just ignore me,' she replied.

But try as he might, the growing bulge in his crotch wouldn't be ignored and eventually, out ofsheer frustration he said, 'Ok.  You win.  I give up.'

'Whatever do you mean?' she asked him.

But he grabbed her hand, walked her to his Porsche, and as they drove home, Melanie sat there, smiling softly to herself.  She had nabbed him.

*   *   *   *   *

He  was top of her, and had taken her, so far, from every angle under the sun, but his manhood was between her breasts, and as he finished his work and exploded on to her face, she took a little onto her finger tip, sucked it and said, 'Thank you very much.'

 

And all night long she got what she was after, and her libido was worked to the utmost.

 

She would enjoy him now, take him places, and however long it lasted, well, such was life.  But for now she would enjoy bedding David Rothchild, and leave the future to its own concerns, and enjoy the simple love of the day.  And, oh, the sex was good.  Boy was it good.

The End

 

 

Life With David

They did the scene.  Nightclubs, though he didn't like to dance much, restaurants, circuses, musicals, movies and fares.  They went everywhere together, and David was a lot of fun.  He usually paid as well, even though Melaniel was a liberated enough kind of gal.  He would toast her, buy her flowers, buy her chocolates and leave little gifts all over the apartment.  She would find them, and the love notes, and smile at his poetic wit, and show the notes to the other Spiceies.  They always laughed, and Geri admitted more than once being a little jealous.  Melaniel was having the time of her life.  Paul - Yomiel - rarely showed his face, but was duly jealous, yet claimed he didn't mind.  Good luck for his twin.  She deserved her happiness.

And then came the first child.  A boy.  Dylan Thomas Rothchild.  Dylan was smart as well, yet only average looking.  At 21 he finally ventured off as his birth visa for Hull expired at 30, and he would have to go off to the edge of Majesty, as all newborn children in the centre likewise had to do, and find a place to live.  Such were the realities of an evergrowing population.

Kirsten Janine Rothchild came a bit later, and she was a stunner in her teens.  David doted on her, and she found modelling work with an agency in Bryforthmarchington, a newish city up the northern edge of the realm.

And then it was just the two of them again, as it had been to start with.  They were good days.  Happy days.  And, later on in life, Melaniel looked back fondly and reminded herself that life with David Rothchild was always a life of happiness, and when she was available, and if he was ever available, to try things on again for a surefire good time.

So, the days passed, and they usually stayed in Melanie's apartment in Hull, and the team completed the first 7 adventures in the 'U.K. State of Mind' video game series.  They were indeed good times, happy times, but like all things, they eventually come to an end. 

The End

 

 

When It's Over

David looked out onto the ocean.  An ocean - again.  Somehow, in his life, endings were made with oceans.  It just seemed that way.  Melaniel was inside, on the bed, reading an issue of Vogue.  They had been together for 70 years now, but it was finished.  He would tell her now.  It was over.

'Sweetie.  Do you remember, when we got together, how I said to you that there were others in my life.'

'Sure,' responded Melaniel, not looking up.

'Well.  You know.  Its time.'

She looked up at him.  'Oh.  Its over, then?'

'Uh.  Well.  Well, yeh.  Time to call it a day.  It's been great, but time for me to go back to Justine.  I mailed her the other day and she rang me this morning.  Time for quits.'

'When it's over, David Rothchild, a woman knows when to call it quits.  We are the sensitive sex, after all.  So I won't push you and I will leave quietly.  You like this place more than I, and there is nothing too personal here.  I will go - well - now.  I have a backpack, and I'll put a few things in.'

'Ok,' he responded.

 

Half an hour later she was at the front door, a black backpack on her shoulder.  'You know, David.  If you like me, later on.  In eternity.  If you like me.'

'I.  I think I will, in time, inevitably call in that favour, Melanie Janine Mandela Brown.  I think I will.'

'Then farewell, David Rothchild.  Farewell.'

And Melaniel, child of Destiny, was off, into the night of Hull, downtown, to another place for a temporary stay, but soon off, back off to the big wide world, and the beginning of a new adventure, a new dream, a new infinite plan of Glory for the life of Scary Spice. 

The End

 

TGarbage Men

 

Chapter One

Stan. He was a hell of a guy. Liked having sex with all the hot ladies on the garbage route. In at 4 in the morning, out at 11. 3 babies usually each year so far. 12 years of service to Langfire City GD, 41 children. All bastards. Stan was that kind of guy.

Shirlie. Straight laced. Born again. What she saw in Stan was God Only Knows. He proposed 4 weeks into the shift they worked together. She said yes.

 

'You know, Jim. I'm soon to be a married man,' said Stan.

'Shirlie is insane,' said Jim.

'Shirlie she's not,' replied Stan.

'Bad joke. $5 penalty for bad jokes, bud. Pay the man,' said Jim.

Stan leafed out a 5 dollar note and put it in the 'Mr Rude Coinbox' they shared for bad jokes.

'I think I could be a dad. You know. Cut out for it.'

Jim glared at Stan. 'Yep, buddy. That you might be.'

'Yep. They could call me dad. It would be good.'

'Will you introduce them to the bastards?' asked Jim. 'You have a 10 year old now, you know.'

'Langfire city is full of bastards. These ones will be special. Legit.'

'Knowing their old man,' said Jim, and trailed off, as they came up to the next set of garbage and recycling bins.

'And what the hell is that supposed to mean?' asked Stan.

'Well, like father like son. I'm sure they'll have bastards of their own. Hardly care, if they have your genes.'

Stan looked at Jim, and looked at the road.

'Just empty the fucking bins,' said Jim annoyed.

He knew his rep was shit.

The End of Chapter One

 

Chapter Two

'Mum's pregnant,' said Shirlie.

'Love to meet her,' said Stan.

'Oh, you might have. She's on your old route. Before I started.'

'Really,' said Stan.

'25 Cresswell circuit,' said Shirlie, as they pulled up to the next garbage bins.

Stan almost swore. '25? Blonde lady. Mid 40s?'

'That's her,' said Shirlie.

'Isn't she single?' asked Stan nervously.

'Happily married for 25 years,' said Shirlie. 'Why?'

'Uh, nothing,' said Stan.

 

Later on the Catholic priest said his sins were challenging for Jesus to forgive.

'You probably shouldn't marry Shirlie. You have her mother pregnant. It's an abomination of sorts, my child.'

'I love Shirlie. It's too late anyway. We fooled around, and she's up the duff.'

'Then the blood of Jesus has some challenging work,' sighed Father McCoy and forgave the sins once more of Stan McDirt.

The End of Chapter Two

 

Chapter Three

Dangling little Jack on his kneee, Stan McDirt wasn't really nervous. Shirlie's mum was nursing little James, and Shirlie's mum's husband was in his armchair, looking at the two kids.

'Such a striking resemblance,' commented Mr Jones, Shirlie's dad.

'Yep, Artie. They are definitely your offspring,' replied Stan.

'Oh, I think they take much more after mum,' said Shirlie.

'Yes. I think so to,' said Mrs Jones, and gave Stan a long, hard stare.

'They'll grow up practically brothers, I would think,' said Mr Jones.

'Like their blood,' said Mrs Jones, again eyeing Stan McDirt.

Stan took out a cigarette, and lit up. 'You know. Maybe they both could be garbage men. Langfire City pays the best wages in Australia. For its Garbage workers. Read it in work report.'

'Fascinating,' said Mr Jones. 'I'm sure garbage work is great, Stan, but they are both destined for things greater. They'll rule the world one day.'

'I'm sure they will,' said Mrs Jones, who stood, glared once more at Stan, handed young James to her husband, and left the room.

'Yep. Garbology. We deal with all sorts of shit,' said Stan. 'Literally,' he chuckled.

'It's fascinating that Shirlie ended up in such a job,' commented Mr Jones. 'I mean, she has a degree in Mathematics, and we were expecting great things. But no, she chose menial labour, and Langfire City GD.'

'To stay humble,' said Shirlie. 'Pastor Robinson always comments to the congregation that the Lord Jesus likes humble souls. It's how proper baptists should be.'

'Indeed,' said Mr Jones, who didn't go to church that regularly, but still affirmed the faith somewhat.

'Garbology. That's their future,' said Stan, looking at his son.

'Well, I'll be proud of them both regardless,' said Artie or Arthur Jones, and made funny faces at his apparent new son.'

'I'm sure they will,' said Stan. 'I'm sure they will.'

The End of Chapter Three

 

Chapter Four

Jim and Stan were shooting the shit at 'Biffo's Bar and Grill' in downtown Langfire City. It was the hangout club for Langfire City GD workers.

'There's slugger,' said Stan. 'Remember, when he goes out on his next shift, we strike. The bastard will get what's coming to him.'

Slugger Magee had had a bit of a punch up on Stan recently, and Stan was pissed, wanting revenge. Jim had agreed to go with the project, and when Slugger was next on shift they had a surprise waiting for him.

'Hey, Slugger,' said Stan. 'No hard feelings mate.'

'Still fucking your mother?' asked Slugger.

'Every night,' replied Stan.

'Yeh, no hard feelings, cunt,' replied Slugger, and sat down at their table with his beer.

'When you next on shift?' asked Jim.

'Afternoon shift. Got to be there at 1.'

'Right,' said Jim, eyeing Stan.

'You know, for a motherfucker, you sometimes have a good side,' said Slugger, glaring at Stan. 'To bad you are so fucking gay about it.'

'Gotcha,' nodded Stan. 'Too gay for Slugger Magee.'

'But you can buy the next round and redeem yourself,' said Slugger. 'And then go home and fuck your mother some more.' Slugger was indeed a crude son of a bitch.

Later on.

'Are you sure the paperwork was filled properly?' asked Stan to Jim.

'Don't worry. We're taking her for a wash.'

The garbage truck they were on still had its load of garbage, and as they travelled through Langfire city for a destination, Stan chuckled.

'You sure you want the slack which will come?' asked Jim.

'The cunt's got it coming to him,' said Stan. 'And besides, we're here.'

They pulled up in front of a house, which was the abode of Slugger Maggee, currently at work, and proceeded to back up onto the front lawn, hit the unload button on their tip, and both got out and watched as a ton of garbage started falling down onto the front lawn of Slugger Magee's lawn.'

'That'll teach the cunt,' said Stan, and grinned all the way back to the depot.

The End of Chapter Four

 

Chapter Five

Stan was pissed off. Everybody had a criticism. Fuck em all.

He was out at 'Bronzeforth'. Suburb on the northern outskirts of Langfire city, were his favourite 'Hos' worked as brothel ladies.

'Sheila. You know I always like fucking you. But you never tell me if you have a boyfriend,' said Stan, as his favourite blonde lady massaged his back.

'Oh, you know Stan, I only have eyes for you,' she said, and continued on massaging his back.

'Your sweet,' said Stan, and turned over.

She looked at his erect phallus. 'And what do you expect me to do with that?' she asked him, eyebrow raised.

'Use your imagination,' responded Stan.

She did.

Later on Stan was back at his flat, a 2 bedroom place in a block of units. It was semi-upper class, and cost a bit to rent, but his brother Maximillian was indeed a local millionairre, and gave him cashola from time to time to help 'facilitate' his average existence. Stan didn't give a shit, and took the cash regardless.

'It looked dingy. Crappy. Shit, really. Shirlie only visited occasionally, as he usually lived with her at her place which she owned, the family home of sorts, but he was yet to let go of renting this place. He couldn't. It housed his porno collection. It housed his pet snake collection. It housed 200 grams of marijuana under the mattress. He couldn't let it go.

Later on Jim was getting pretty high, as he sat in front of the electric heater on this cold winter night and his eyes were all over the place.

'I feel good, man,' said Jim.

Stan was sober. He was worried. He had received a death threat in the mail, which he had looked over after dinner.

'Don't worry about it,' said Jim. 'It's probably Slugger giving you shit.'

But Stan was worried. Apparently he was now marked for death. Apparently.

The End of Chapter Five

 

Chapter Six

'Max. Come on Max. Don't be a cunt.'

'Your big brother,' said Maximillian McDirt, ear glued to his mobile, eyes focused on the PC on the stock reports, was not impressed with Stan's request. 'Does not have as much influence as you think. Besides, the cops do not keep fucking records on who has it in for Stan McDirt. Hire a private eye if you want that looked into. I mean, what? Did you get a death threat or something?'

'Pretty much,' said Stan, and started poking at the large aquarium in his brother's office, making faces at the tropical fish.

'For fuck's sake, Stan. It's probably just some pissed off husband whose found out exactly who little johnnie's dad really is. Don't sweat it.'

'What Jim tells me,' said Stan, staring at the fish. 'I mean, come on Max. You've got contacts. Who in the underworld wants me dead?'

'Look, I'll call you back,' said Max, and put down his mobile and looked at his little brother. 'Dad always said you were a fuck up. And while I know the McDirt dynasty will now live on for all eternity with the amount of fucking bastards in the family, I can't help but agree with the old man. Give the letter to a private eye and pay for his services. He'll have contacts.'

'Can you loan me the cash?' asked Stan.

'For fuck's sake,' swore Max, as he wrote out a cheque for 50 grand. 'That should cover you for a year, bastard. And I'll go broke if you keep this up.'

'Thank's buddy,' said Stan, and left.

Max looked after his departed brother, and looked at his aquarium. 'For fuck's sake,' said Max, as he jumped up and fished out his stapler which Stan had dropped into the aquarium. 'Little shit,' said Max, but then his phone rang, and he was back to his world.

The End of Chapter Six

 

Chapter Seven

Stan sat in his apartment. It was a mess. Nothing new. Shirlie was at her mothers with the kid, and he was sitting in front a pile of crap. Pamphlets, photographs and all sorts of letters from past lovers, all carefully examined, trying to find a clue. He was sure, now, it was a pissed off lover having a go, and he had been examining hand writing compared to that in the letter, but no matches so far, and at work Slugger Magee gave him a suspicious look but nothing more. He was at his wit's end. Who the fuck wanted him dead? Would it blow over? Would it just go away?

The phone rang, and he nearly had a heart attack. He picked it up. 'Who the fuck is it?'

A voice was on the other end, breathing heavily. 'I know where you live, bastard?' she said. It was clearly female.

'Who the fuck is this?' asked Jim.

'You should know,' she responded, and hung up.

He stared at the handset. It was an ex-lover. He was sure of it. Someone gilted. Someone betrayed. He would have to watch his ass from now on – literally.

At work.

'You know,' said Jim. 'You've crossed some people in your time. Perhaps it runs deeper than just a lady.'

'No. It's a bitch. Having a go,' said Stan. The garbage truck ran along the street, and they picked up the next garbage bins on the run.

'I think it runs deeper than that,' said Jim. 'Just saying, you know,' said the Torres strait islander.

Just then a black van appeared beside the garbage truck, and a shotgun appeared.

'For fuck's sake,' said Jim. 'Watchout Stan.' Stan turned at the next corner, going left, but the van followed.

'Can you see who it is!' yelled Stan.

'No. Fuck no,' said Jim. I just see a head with a black balaclava on it. They are aiming.' A shot went off, and the front wheel tire exploded, and the garbage truck veered to the side of the road. Stan hit the brakes, and they luckily came to a stop just short of a telephone box. The black van had gone up the road a bit, and the figure had gotten out, armed with the gun, staring at them.

'Don't move,' said Stan.

'I'm shitting bricks,' said Jim.

The figure dressed in black pointed the shotgun at them menacingly, then got back in the van and disappeared.

'Fucking hell!' said Jim.

'Your telling me,' said Stan.

The End of Chapter Seven

 

Chapter Eight

'What the fuck was that dick's name?' asked Stan, storming into his brother's office.

Maximillian McDirt, busy with his PC, looked up. 'For fuck's sake, Stan. What the fuck has happened. You look a wreck.'

'With no fucking sleep for 24 hours what do you expect?'

'What happened?' asked Max, picking up his favourite paper weight and playing with it in his hands.

'This bitch appears. From fucking nowhere, blows away the front tire of our rig, and we nearly do a telephone box. She points a gun at us, ready to blow us away, and then fucks off. It was hell getting the department repair truck not to tell bossman what really happened. Cost me a lifetime of favours. Now I need that dick. That french dick that was up your arse that time.'

'Even though that sounds fascinating, and quite tempting, which french dick do you mean?'

'Crudesod. Detective Crudesod. The one your mrs got on to you to look up on your extra curricular activities.'

'Don't remind me,' said Max, and punched a key on his keyboard, and wrote down a number.

He handed it to Stan, who was again standing suspiciously by the aquarium.

'Here. Go. Fuck off. I have business. But let me know how it goes, ok,' said Max.

'Will do,' said Stan, taking the number, and left the office, to a disturbed looking Max, who returned to his PC. But, sensing something amiss, he looked at the aquarium, walked over to it, and found the little fishing net he used to retrieve his fish when necessary was face downwards, covering his favourite aquarium animal, Mr Sebastian his tiny turtle. He reached in, grabbed the net, and picked out Mr Sebastian and cradled him.

'Did that mean bastard upset you, Mr Sebastian?' asked Max, carefully stroking his turtle. 'Don't worry. He'll get his.' And carefully he returned Mr Sebastian to his Aquarium home and got back to his work.

The End of Chapter Eight

 

Chapter Nine

'You know, Stan. The new chick is quite catching on the eye. Don't know were I know her from though.'

'Yeh, whatever,' replied Stan. 'How do you spell hazel?'

Jim looked at the form Stan was filling in. 'Now what the fuck are you doin?' he asked him.

'The dick's form. And he fucken wants it in triplicate.'

'H A Z E L,' replied Jim. 'And your eyes are green, not hazel.'

'Whatever,' replied Stan.

'She's really quite hot. Looks mid 30s, but she's looked after herself. Looks like a bit of abo in her as well.'

Stan turned his head to look at the new chick. 'Yeh. I think I know her. Somewhere along the line.'

'I'm gonna ask her out,' said Jim.

'You do that,' said Stan. 'How do you spell athletic?'

Jim looked at Stan's physique. Beer gut. Now balding hair, with a tint of gray. Flab under the arms and a constant groan when he walked more than 100 metres.

'Dream on,' said Jim. 'Put in slob.'

'Right. Olympic level athlete,' put in Stan.

'Shit, she's coming this way,' said Jim.

Shortly a raven haired beauty was standing in front of them. 'Hi guys,' she said. Remember me Stan?'

'Vaguely,' he responded.

'Well that's good,' she said. 'See you around sometime.'

'Cool,' responded Stan, and the chick left.

'Man, was she hot,' said Jim.

'How do you spell millionairre?' asked Jim.

'Jesus!' replied Stan.

The End of Chapter Nine

 

Chapter Ten

Stan was out on patrol. And there it was again - the bitch. He knew it was a bitch.

She was driving alongside the van, and pointed her rifle. 'Stop and get the fuck out,' she yelled.'

Stan nodded. Jim was beside himself.

They came around to the front of the garbage truck, and the bitch pulled off her black balaclava.

It was the abo bitch.

'Are you ready to die?' she asked them, pointing the rifle.

Stan would take it like a man. 'Go fuck yourself, bitch.'

She looked at him, came close, put the rifle to his head, and then, looking in his eyes, dropped the rifle and threw her arms around him.

'Why don't you love me, Stan. I worshipped you. I did everything I could to please you. I even had a baby for you.'

'Another fucking one,' said Jim.

'Shut up,' said Stan.

'Stan, I'll make a good wife,' she said, fawning all over him. 'I'll cook you supper, bring you beer, and massage your feet.'

'She's a catch,' said Jim.

'Shut up,' said Stan again.

'Please love me, Stan,' said the lady.

Stan gazed up at the heavens. 'Why me?' he finally sighed.

And, a weeping aboriginal at his feet, his best mate having a good old chuckle right alongside, the life of Stan the Garbage man of Langfire city,

somewhere in Queensland Australia, returned to a semblance of normality, and life, as they put it, went on.

The End of Garbage Men.

 

The Equinox Paradigm

 

Chapter One

 

Suddenly alive. 487 years stuck in limbo, Karnos, a deity of extreme perseverance to accomplish his sadistic objectives, had spent 487 years in limbo, banished there by Jaltar, a deity of Law and Order, serving the Universal Spirit of Justice. Karnos was pissed off, very fucking pissed off, and swore traditional vengeance on Jaltar. Jaltar knew it was coming, though, and had arranged for Karnos new human form to be limited to just that – humanity. And sitting there, in the darkness, he was suddenly alive, on a mountain overlooking a city, something which felt like Australia, in human form, and suddenly very thirsty. Karnos had staggered down the mountain, come to a river, and had drunk deeply, refreshing his soul and new body. And then he had lifted his hand to the skies and sworn vengeance upon Jaltar, and destruction of his assembly, the Jaltarians.

 

He swam the river, came to a road, and gradually followed it up, coming to the city limits. He was naked, and as he came to a main road he was honked by numerous cards. He could eat plants, he knew that, but he wanted finer foods, and would need an income. He knew English, the tongue of Australia, so made his way gradually up a road, coming to an interesting looking building. It looked like a bus terminal. He entered, coming up to a receptionist, who looked embarrassed.

‘Shouldn’t you be wearing clothes,’ she said.

‘I don’t have any,’ replied Karnos. ‘Is there a welfare centre nearby?’

‘Oh, I see. Well, Centrelink is just around the corner. Look, I will take you there. You probably need help by the looks of it.’

‘Thanks,’ said Karnos.

 

5 minutes later, exiting the vehicle, the woman having given him a skivvy and some pants, they came into the Centrelink office. The lady had told him they were in Tuggeranong in Canberra, and the current year was 2562 CE. He had inquired into his religion and found that Tuggeranong had a Karnosian assembly in the suburb of Macarthur. She had attended once, also attending a number of new deity assemblies, as was her habit. He had also inquired about Jaltarism and found they had an assembly in the district of Belconnen. ‘Good’, he said to himself. It was always useful to know were your enemy was hiding.

 

The lady who helped him told him her name was ‘Rebecca Lyant’ and that should he ever need help she was available. He eyed her suspiciously, expecting perhaps a potential enemy, but thanked her thinking she was likely innocent and unsuspecting.

 

He gave the centre a standard ‘I have lost my memory’ explanation, and despite them putting his face through a face scanner to try and identify him, they had no luck, so granted him a new ID which he chose himself and put him on the standard living allowance, and granted him a Government Unit in the centre of Greenway. ‘Perfect’ he thought to himself. He would strike his enemy from there.

 

That afternoon he was taken to his unit, which already had furniture, and was further taken by one of the Centrelink managers, following protocols, to the main Hyperdome complex to be given various clothing items, shoes and all the necessities for life. The manager showed him were all the shops were, gave him a debit card for his shopping needs, and explained that if he ran out of food the St Vincent de Paul Centre would always help him out. ‘We are here to help, Marcus,’ said the manager to Karnos in the new name he had chosen for himself. ‘We are a thriving community now and Tuggeranong has reached 2 million souls just recently. You can have a great and prosperous life here, and we are a very caring community. I do hope you find what you are looking for. ‘Yeh, well thanks’, responded Marcus, finding it quite nice to have a kind word spoken, unlike the usual torments he had faced in his gladiatorial deity wars.

 

Sitting in his apartment, looking out the window, there was a knock on the door. He opened it and ‘Rebecca’ stood there, holding a square box. ‘Can I come in, Marcus?’

‘Uh, sure. What’s in the box?’

‘Pizza. You’ll love it. Arnold’s is ancient, and they make simply divine pizza’s. Oh, and I brought a bottle of Coca Cola. I love the stuff.’

He looked at the coke and swore to himself. Nearly 500 years and they were still making Coca Cola – some things never change.

 

She put on a DVD she had brought, a music one of ‘Britney Spears’, who was still living after over 500 years, so healthy had the diets of society become and so lengthy the new life expectancies. He was surprised at that, but not too surprised. Perhaps he also had a long life here now as well.

 

After the songs had played for an hour or so, and they had finished there pizza, she looked at him. ‘Do you want to fuck, then? I am randy and you are cute.’

‘Sure,’ he said. They went into the bedroom and she took off her clothes and got onto the bed on all fours. ‘Do me like a beast, Marcus. Give it to me you bad boy.’

He stripped off, his manhood standing at attention, and proceeded to fuck her brains out. It was totally exhilarating.

 

Having a cigarette after the action, she asked him a question. ‘So what is the plan, dude? What are your goals.’

‘I have an enemy who vanquished me. He must pay.’

‘Oh, so you do know who you are.’

‘Uh, oh. Yeh. But I don’t have a name here and I had no finances or anything. I’m not ripping you off.’

‘Ok. I’ll take you at your word. Well, do you want to fuck me a lot. I will stay with you if you do. I like to fuck men, and you’re hot. What do you say?’

‘Fuck. Okay. Sounds good.’

‘I’ll go and get my stuff. Be back in an hour or so.’

‘Seeya.’ He watched her go, realized he was hitched already, but didn’t mind. She was cute and would do as a girlfriend, but vengeance was on his mind.

 

* * * * *

 

Sex every night for 7 straight weeks and Marcus had forgotten his grudge. Instead he was learning about traditional Paganism and the ‘Equinox Paradigm’. The religion Rebecca followed. And it was the ‘Equinox Paradigm’ which was to transform the life of a previously decadent of heart deity of the universe.

 

 

Chapter Two

 

The preacher continued. ‘For it is in ‘BALANCE’ that we find harmony. It is the completion of humanity, the centrepoint, the fundamental axis and axiom of our lives. For the extremes of the solstices bring us to the passions of life, the heat and the cold, but in the balance of the centrepoint, in the balance of the middle, in the Equinox Paradigm, we find perfection of our hearts, minds and soul.’ Marcus looked at the reaction to these words on Rebecca’s face, and it summed it all up. She was totally hooked.

 

Four hours later she was fucking him harder then ever, and then went down on him and swallowed all his creamy load. Fuck, she was randy, he thought to himself. If this was the ‘Equinox Paradigm’ let it keep on coming.

 

* * * * *

 

It was when the Jaltarian entered the assembly that Marcus felt stirred. This kid, whoever he was, was his enemy. He knew it instantly. The kid had a look about him, a spirit, which suggested condemnation of the ‘Equinoxian’s’. And Marcus would not abide that.

 

He came up to the kid, inquired into his name, found out that it was ‘Joel’, and suggested to him that this place probably wasn’t for him. Joel gave him a funny look and left, something which said it all. But Marcus didn’t care – he knew a troublemaker when he saw one, and four days later when Joel returned to give the assembly members a ‘Jaltarian’ flyer, Marcus knew what it had all been about. But he was over it, now. He’d forgiven his enemy in his heart, as the way of the Equinox taught him to do so, and let go of his grudge. Joel was simply young. Young and naive, not understanding the fuller realities of life. He could speak to him, share his newly acquired wisdom but, in the end, thought better of it. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, a quiet voice whispered to his mind, and that was the end of the issue.

 

 

Chapter Three

 

Marcus had 17 children with Rebecca before she left off bearing. But they stayed together anyway and ended up in the Lanyon valley. The ‘Equinox Paradigm’ became central to his way of life, and every day he studied the nature based texts to learn more and more of how to be perfectly natural. It summed up his whole life and, late one night, his wife giving him an awesome blow job, he thanked the universal spirit that things, in the end, had turned out for the best.

 

 

The End

 

 

“Vengeance of the Angel Gabralax”

(Story Two in the Equinox Paradigm Series)

 

 

Chapter One

 

Gabralax sensed, in the open and often hostilities amongst the superior deities of the heavenlies, that the Universal Spirit would allow him the grace of escaping the vengeance of Jaltar. For the Angel Gabralax had crippled Jaltar, sending him the wards of healing, were he had sworn traditional vengeance upon Gabralax. And so Gabralax, realizing that he’d always had the human option available to him, as all angelicdom were to taste human flesh at some point in their eternal existence, sought the Universal Spirit who allowed its son to manifest.

 

Waking up on a slope, overlooking a city, Gabralax wondered to himself where the Spirit had sent him. He was naked, and it was quite cold on his human flesh, so climbing down the slope towards the city he came to a river. With no apparent bridge in sight, he dived in and, shivering, walked along the road he had found coming into the city proper. Cars whizzed past and many honked at the naked man, but none yet stopped. He continued up a road, eventually coming to what looked like a bus depot. Noting it said ‘Tuggeranong Bus Depot’ he suddenly realized he was in Australia, and Canberra from memory. Good, he liked Australians. They were friendly, adaptable with a suitable sense of humour and an appropriate level of carnality for some of the practices he occasionally slipped into.

 

He came to a lady at the reception area with a badge reading ‘Rebecca Lyant’. She looked at him, laughed to herself, and said, ‘Here we go again. I hope you don’t expect me to fuck you straight away as well?’

Gabralax looked at her perplexed, yet said nothing. She took him to the Centrelink centre, and with the allowance they arranged for him he soon found himself in a unit opposite the hyperdome, with food, clothing and various other items. ‘We care, a lot, you know,’ were the words of the Centrelink officer who looked after him. ‘Tuggeranong is a booming metropolis of over 2,000,000 souls, and we do our best to look after each other. People can make quite a life for themselves in our district, and we work hard to maintain our strong reputation. You can make a real future for yourself here Gabriel,’ which was the name Gabralax had called himself in English.

 

When the officer had left, he stared out the window, thinking, ‘What next? What next in the life of the Angel Gabriel?’

 

 

Chapter Two

 

Gabriel soon joined the ‘Equinox Paradigm’. It was a place of spiritual teaching which resonated with him in his human form, and ‘Rebecca’ was great company. She lived with a familiar soul, which Gabralax couldn’t quite place.

 

Soon, though, he met the head of the Equinox Paradigm in Canberra. She was an aboriginal lady, Kooldah Smith, and she was something special to Gabriel. She was earthy, linked in some way to the ancient dreamtime spirits, and represented to Gabriel primal powers from the dawn of creation. He was instantly attracted, and they dated for several months.

 

She spoke to him of the Equinox Paradigm, of finding balance and harmony with nature and self. Of finding peace and unity in the central times of life, and the power and importance of Mid-Day and Mid-Night. ’12 is the completion of our clock, for a reason Gabriel. It is at these times of the day and night when we are the most alive, the cycles of time having completed many purposes over the previous 12 hours. Of course, in Judaism the cycle of Evening and Morning as the first day is completely important as well for they mark the divisions of dark and light and dawn and dusk are the quarter points, as we call them. Darkness precedes light, and we must rest before we begin our work. We must prepare, and at the time of the day’s equinoxes, midnight and midday, our rest must be the most complete and our work must be the most intense.’

 

Kooldah taught him much of the Equinox Paradigm, and they mated constantly. When she declared herself pregnant Gabriel was overjoyed, and at the day of the wedding, when all seemed well, Gabriel felt all the problems of life were gone from him. And that is when Jaltar struck.

 

 

Chapter Three

 

She laid dead, on the altar, her blood dripping from the cut to the throat. And the frightened guests all talked of a dark figure, with a scar down his left cheek, dressed in black robes, with long dark hair. And instantly Gabralax knew Jaltar had found his vengeance.

 

For days he was in a haze, his heart shattered, and then, coming to the river, lifting his hand he swore vengeance, and the Universal Spirit returned him to the heavenlies.

 

Gladiatorial combat between an Angel and a dark god such as Jaltar was truly something special, yet Gabralax would not allow his victim to live. And when the blade struck deep, severing most of Jaltar’s throat, Gabralax raised his sword and cut off the head completely. And then, his Vengeance complete, he collapsed to the ground and wept.

 

It was later that year, a little sprite wondered in to his sleeping room, and said to the dreaming Gabralax, ‘In Hades you will find your beloved. But beware, Jaltar’s dark might surrounds her, and her rescue will be difficult. But be brave, angel of God, and your beloved will be restored to you.’

 

And, upon waking, and remembering the words, Gabralax swore he would rescue his maiden, and knowing the portal to Hades, an impossible place of madness and chaos, he swore he would rescue her. For she was his love and he would not rest until she was restored to him. That much he truly, indeed, did swear.

 

The End

 

 

“The Final Paradigm”

(Story Three in the Equinox Paradigm Series)

 

Chapter One

 

Gabralax and Michalax inched their way forwards through a tunnel in the Insanity Abyss, near the bottom of Sheol. Raphalax and Urilax were behind them a few hundred meters, monitoring their escape route. They had fought and dispatched so many of Jaltar’s crony demonites, sending them off down to lower regions of Sheol, were the dead of the dead always progressed to, and now they were about at their destination – the central nub of the Insanity Abyss.

 

They came to the end of the tunnel and, on the other side of a bluey hazy mist Gabralax spied his beloved Kooldah, lying on a stone altar, seemingly unconscious. Gabralax was about to rush through the mist when Michalax grabbed him. ‘Wait. I fear this mist in front of us is the stuff of pure insanity. If you go through your mind will turn mad – it will turn insane.’

‘But what is my choice, Michalax?’ responded Gabralax. ‘I can not leave my beloved there.’

Just then Jaltar came into view and stood on the other side of the mist, mocking at them. ‘Come, come Gabralax. Take your vengeance,’ and he laughed with a mad laugh, full of pure evil. Gabralax made as to go forwards, but Michael grabbed him and held him back. ‘Wait. Let us go back and find another way in, for it is likely there is more than one. See that opening at the top of the cave?’ Gabralax nodded. ‘Let us try to find that one.’

‘Very well Michalax. But if there is no other way I will dare the mist.’

‘Very well.’

 

Chapter Two

 

They retraced their steps, found Raphalax and Urilax and, again fighting through dozens of demonites, gradually found there way to the opening above the nub. But, again, the mist was there.

‘It will surround the entire nub,’ moaned Gabralax. ‘Tis why it is called the Insanity Abyss.’

Michalax nodded. ‘Then we go as one, Gabralax. We go as one.’

‘All for one and one for all,’ said Urilax.

‘Time for action,’ said Raphalax.

And, following Gabralax, they dropped down, floating on their wings, coming through the blue mist, down into the nub of the abyss.

 

Gabralax’s mind reeled instantly. Visions entered his head, visions of darkness and hatred, all of the purest evil. And, slowly, his mind could not cope with such evil, slowly turning to insanity. He saw Jaltar in front of him, armed with a spear, menacingly approaching him. But while he tried to ready himself, as the others did, he could only clutch his head and scream obscenities at the evil in his mind.

 

And then, suddenly, a little angel appeared in front of him and asked him this simple question. ‘Gabralax, in the end, what really could possibly be the final paradigm of it all?’

And Gabralax, in response, yelled to Kooldah that he loved her.

Kooldah, seeming to sense the presence of her beloved, awoke. She seemed stunned but, looking around, saw her beloved screaming and being approached by Jaltar with a spear. And then, knowing she must defend her love, rushed to the side of the cave, grabbed a spear, and plunged it into the unsuspecting back of Jaltar. As he collapsed to the ground, screaming in agony, his soul departing for lower regions of Sheol, the blue mist gradually dispersed, and the minds of the angels cleared up.

 

Gabralax rushed into Kooldah’s arms, kissed her wildly, and the lost love of his heart was restored to him. The final paradigm, it seemed, had saved him in the end.

 

Chapter Three

 

The wedding of eternity was attending by thousands, and in the years ahead, as Kooldah bore Gabralax child after child, Gabralax ensure he taught all of them true religion as he saw it. For the Final Paradigm was the hallmark of his life then, and he never, ever forget the power of love. For it was the power of love which had saved him from madness and death, and he would never forget its wonderful, saving grace.

 

The End

 

 

Paradigms Upon Paradigms

(Story Four in the Equinox Paradigm Series)

 

 

‘Sex. Sex sounds good Gabby.’

Gabralax looked over at Kooldah, and honestly he was in fact randy enough. Time for some foreplay.

 

 

Later on Kooldah was discussing the potential for launching ‘The Equinox Paradigm’ in heaven, but all that Gabralax would say was ‘Good luck’. But she decided to try anyway.

 

Four days later she was inundated. She had no real idea of the population statistics for the heavenlies, but her husband Gabralax assured her the numbers were mind boggling. All she had done was gone on a message board, announced her name and her being the husband of Gabralax, and checking her email later on that day that she had posted on the message board there were approximately 47 million requests in her inbox, having used the filter, to join the Equinox Paradigm. All Kooldah would say was ‘Fucking Hell.’

 

‘You probably shouldn’t have mentioned you were married to me. That is, unless, you wanted to be popular. I am kind of well known, Kooly.’

‘I kind of get the point.’

 

It was then that the debates began. Within a few hours there were numerous people at the front door, Kooldah having mistakenly given out her address, and as fate would have it such angels were the primary pastors by and large of ‘Equinox’. They were looking for something different, something new, something not done previously. And they were happy to commit, so they told her.

 

But they had endless viewpoints of interpretation about balance and the heart of the Equinox. In fact, Paradigms upon Paradigms of viewpoints. Kooldah soon found her letterbox full of sample essays and statements on how the Equinox could potentially be approached, the significance of the viewpoints and how to make it last forever, amongst a whole spiel of other exciting paradigms.

 

Gabralax laughed, already planning a move to a new secret location, realizing he would never again have peace at their current address. But for Kooldah it was bliss, all the attention, and he decided to delay things for a while to allow his beloved her time in the sun.

 

The first divine heavenly council of the Equinox Paradigm got under way within one year of the first message board announcement, and freedom of sexual activity and finding the balance between too much sex and too little sex was the fundamental discussion point of the council.

 

Kooldah had organised the hierarchy of the fellowship as best she could in such little time, and the debates got under way.

 

 

 

Later on in the year, her fellowship growing in large numbers every day, and in numbers which Gabralax assured her with the ever increasing expansion of the heavenlies that would never end, Kooldah realized to herself, after her many question on earth, that life did have a plan to it. There was this Universal Spiritual Force which Gabralax her husband talked about. A force which gave birth to the dreams of the heart, and gave you untold blessings for your passionate inspirations. And Kooldah, not knowing what else to call this force, fell on her knees one evening in prayer, cried out ‘Thank you God’, and felt the best she had done in all her days of existence.

 

 

The Equinox paradigm claimed its heavenly foundation. And it was another of a long line of spiritual movements to come into the heavenly domain, each perhaps serving a purpose. Each, perhaps, being a paradigm in a neverending series of paradigms to bring life, joy and fulfillment to all the creatures of the Universal Spirit.

 

The End

 

 

Michalax and his Equinoxxian Mistress

(The Equinox Paradigm Series – Story Five)

 

 

 

‘I never liked you, even when I tried to.’

‘Oh, don’t say that honey,’ responded Michalax to Natalie, his Equinoxxian mistresses, comment.

‘And why are you still here? Shouldn’t you get the hint?’

‘Oh, babe. Come on, you know I love you.’

She looked at him, decided the creep had learned his lesson, so softened. ‘Come on then – let’s fuck.’

‘That’s it babe. Play nice.’

‘Shut up.’

‘And you are looking your best.’

‘Shut up.’

‘And I’m knocking at your door.’

‘I still never liked you, bastard.’

‘Oh baby.’

 

 

5 hours later, after an afternoon of much shagging, Michalax was feeling drained. His Equinoxxian mistress had taken him for all his force, and he was spent. But that was the way with those of the Equinox Paradigm – they were literally sex mad, and when they wanted it, boy did they want it.

 

 

Christmas was coming up, and so putting the CD ‘The Razor’s Edge’ into a letter, with the song ‘Mistress for Christmas’ circled, he sent it in the mail to his Equinoxxian Mistresses address – on the other side of town.

 

 

Christmas came around.

‘I never liked you, you know. Despite the fact I am knocking at your door.’

‘Come on babe, lets fuck.’

‘I really don’t know why you are still hanging around in my life. I must be insane.’

‘Its cos I luv you babe. And I need a Mistress.’

‘I must be insane,’ she said again, as he led her into the bedroom.

 

 

4 months later, Natalie had had completely enough. She had taken Michalax to a pub, waited until he was wasted, and got up and sang karaoke the Rogue Traders ‘I Never Liked You.’

 

All the time she was staring at him, and he was looking guilty.

 

That night they had the best sex they’d ever had, and she was gone the following morning, not seen again by Michalax for many a long year.

 

‘She really did wave goodbye,’ he lamented to himself one October afternoon. ‘I guess she never really liked me anyway.’

 

The End

 

 

The Paradigm of Patience

(The Equinox Paradigm Series – Story Six)

 

Chapter One

 

Michalax sat with Marcus Lyant, whose wife Rebecca was sitting happily, knitting, of all the womanly things to do. They had parted life on earth recently and now, in heaven, were members of the growing Equinoxxian family, as it was called.

‘So what are your ambitions, Marcus? What do you hope to achieve?’

‘You are aware, Michalax, that I am still somewhat remembered in the outer world of heaven. In Equinox I am treated carefully, but dark figures still want vengeance over the slaying of Jaltar and, it is rumoured, Jaltar still lives. He is a creature unkillable, and his vengeance will be sure if I venture forth to make my name known once more.’

‘Karnos. Forgive me, Marcus. This is the struggle of life we have always faced. Evil has long been with us in these heavenly domains, for the Universal Spirit is patient and forebearing, hoping for repentance and right action. I have long lamented his mercy, which is quite ironic, but I too have known it, so complain I do not. Yet we can not hide from evil – we must face it and, in the strength of righteous valour, overcome its dark might. Do not fear Jaltar, for you are stronger than he.’

‘Be that as it may, Michalax, he is still a thorn in my side.’

‘Then you must have patience. For the equinox way teaches, as I understand it, that in the heart of balance there is neither apathy towards life yet, also, no great frettings or anxieties towards things. There is perfect patience, perfect peace, knowing that all comes in the goodness of time. For there is a time to hide, Marcus, but a time to confront evil, Karnos.’

‘Yes,’ he nodded. ‘There is.’

 

 

Chapter Two

 

Jaltar brooded. How to exact vengeance upon Karnos. How to exact vengeance. But he was stuck here, now, in a much lower level of hades. For evil, when it killed and was subsequently killed, went further down into the darkening pits of death and unlife. And here he was, surrounded by malevolent demons who cared not for him, and would slay him without a moment’s hesitation if he interfered with their darkened exile. Yet power was still his – and he had access once more to the upper realms, albeit only in a vague spirit sense, a shadow of himself, yet still capable of speaking temptations to the dark to those who would serve him. Yet the price was strict, for he could not return to his bodily home for many years should he choose to leave it, such being the price of spirit self. Yet he would again choose this evil, for he despised Karnos, and would slay Rebecca, his beloved bride, if he could but achieve such dark ends.

 

 

Chapter Three

 

Marcus sat in the hotel, near the centre were the Equinoxxian annual conference was being held, and looked out the window at the city of Joniquay, one of the diamond cities of heaven. And as he looked he noticed something – a dark, grey shadow, coming closer. And then, suddenly, it was upon him and he felt darkness and evil trying to swallow his very soul. He fell to the ground, vomiting, and suddenly became aware of the screaming of Rebecca. He ran, he ran, he ran so quickly, but his running, no matter how much he believed he could save her, no matter how much he told himself he would arrive in time, was never going to be enough. And he had known it as soon as the shadow of evil had touched him.

 

And then he looked at the charred remains of Rebecca’s body, and the broken window were the dark spirit had fled to, and bowed his head and wept. For the dark lord had claimed his beloved, and this time, he knew, his descent to the lowest pit of hell would be his last, for Jaltar would not be spared a second time, for he would finish the work of Gabralax. Yet the price was a very piece of his own soul, a very piece of his own dark pity.

 

And as he wept, he swore again his vengeance, and it verily seemed that the angels in heaven did weep.

 

The End

 

 

Joniquay at Night

(The Equinox Paradigm Series – Story Seven)

 

Michalax, Gabralax and Urilax hovered in the night skies of Joniquay. Down on earth Marcus Lyant laid wounded, but alive. And his beloved Rebecca returned to him, after a struggle with darkness.

 

The 3 Archangels stood in front of a portal which shimmered in the air in front of them, the place were Raphalax had disappeared to with the ashes of Jaltar.

 

Michael motioned towards a nearby tower, flooded with lights of all sorts of colours, burning brightly in the night sky. ‘This city is like few of the Diamond cities. So human in its ambitions.’

‘Yet it was put aside for mostly them,’ responded Gabralax.

‘In fact the children of Men make up around 90% of Joniquay’s population,’ said Urilax.

‘90%. Really. And were di d you learn that statistic?’ queried Michalax.

‘Hey, I still study,’ responded Urilax.

 

The angels hovered there, wings beating slowly, and the shimmering vortex continued shimmering.

 

‘Down there is a baseball match going on,’ said Urilax, pointing down to a baseball park down earthwards, the ground flooded with lights in the cool evening.

‘Is it one of your teams?’ asked Michalax.

‘I don’t know,’ responded Urilax. ‘They might be playing tonight, but I am not sure. I don’t follow that closely anymore. After 10 million games you sort of get the idea of what they are on about.’

‘Still, they are our eternal entertainment,’ put in Gabralax.

‘That they are,’ responded Urilax.

 

Down below Marcus Lyant was feeling a little better, nursing Rebecca.

 

‘She seems to be alright,’ said Urilax, pointing downwards to the human they had just rescued from the dark nether regions.

‘For the nightmares we went through she better be,’ responded Gabralax.

‘Still, she is a daughter of love,’ put in Michalax. ‘She is, I feel, destined for eternal life. God would not have us so actively involved with these children of the Equinox if not so.’

‘God?’ queried Urilax. ‘You know that term is no longer in vogue. You will slip up and let on about our ancient history. You know the children of men can not stomach the ancient standards.’

‘I was forgetting. The Universal Spirit.’ responded Michalax. ‘Please forgive me brother Urilax.’

‘You are forgiven,’ responded Urilax, with a grin on his face.

 

The Vortex continued shimmering, a whirl of hazy colours, burning brightly in the night sky.

 

‘He should be back shortly,’ said Michalax.

‘The Spirit may have much to say,’ put in Gabralax.

‘Jaltar’s time has come,’ responded Michalax. ‘The Spirit will agree with Raphalax’s request.

‘Let us hope so,’ said Gabralax. ‘I have had enough with this current war with the fallen.’

‘I fear our life is of this struggle,’ said Urilax. ‘It is our destiny for some reason.’

‘There is a purpose,’ responded Michalax. ‘And the struggle is not eternal.’

‘And you know this how,’ queried Gabralax.

‘I will not say,’ said Michalax. ‘It simply has a purpose. You both will understand in the fullness of time.’

The other two angels gazed at Michalax, yet said nothing. His words had said ample.

 

The Vortex suddenly came alive with a purple colour, then a swirling pink, and suddenly Raphalax burst through.

 

‘It is done. He has agreed,’ said Raphalax.

Michalax breathed a sigh of relief, and signaled their descent.

 

* * *

 

‘It is finished, Marcus. You will be bothered not again.’

‘Thank you, Michalax. Rebecca is breathing a little easier, but still too weak to say much. Can you take us home?’

 

As the angels carried Marcus and Rebecca back to their home, Michalax thought on that long struggle with darkness. It was not over yet, not by a long shot, but destiny was continuing ever onwards, and the day of vindication would come one day. And then their long earned rest, and peace for the Angels of the Universal Spirit.

 

THE END

 

 

A New Paradigm

(Story Eight in the Equinox Paradigm Series)

 

Ragulax, Phanulax and the dread Saruvilax were having a conference. An important conference.

‘Now, as you know,’ began Saruvilax, ‘People are very familiar with the big four, Michalax, Gabralax, Raphalax and Urilax. They are household names to many of them. And for many years now that is how they have promoted themselves. But there are 7 divine Archangels, and it is our responsibility to let people know this.’

Ragulax put up his hand. ‘And how are we to do that, dread Saruvilax. After all, they claim this position of 4 exalted angels from 1 Enoch chapter nine.’

‘Don’t call me dread Saruvilax. I can not possibly express how pissed off I am with that term these days.’

Phanulax grinned. ‘Yeh, dread Saruvilax. Good one Rags.’

Saruvilax looked disturbed, but got back to the agenda. ‘Now, brothers. There have been contenders over the years for positions in the divine seven. Chamulax competed heavily for a while. Jeremilax, Remilax and Saraqalax were also competitors. As was Sarilax. Yes, there have been a number who have tried to claim that top 7 slots. But remember, my dear brothers. There has never been an official designation in the sacred writings which has been universally accepted.’

‘So how are we going to get those slots,’ asked Ragulax. I mean, in Enoch chapter 20 the big 7 are Urilax, Raphalax, Ragulax, Michalax, Saraqalax, Gabralax and Remilax in that order. And I am third on that list, and that is about the most official list of the 7 big angels because it is in 1 Enoch. So why would I change.’

Phanulax interrupted. ‘But remember, dear brother Ragulax, in the second parables section of Enoch, in chapter 40, there are 4 angels of the presence, and these four glorious angels are in order Michalax, then Raphalax, then Gabralax, and fourth of all, not even Urilax, but my blessed self, the holy Phanulax. So Ragulax, Saruvilax. What have either of you to offer me? And, dear Saruvilax, were not your wondrous deeds only recorded much later on in history than our grand earlier accomplishments.’

‘It is difficult to know for sure,’ responded Saruvilax. ‘True, I have been unable to find references in the earlier literature, but I was known of. I am sure of that. Besides, the holy third volume of Haven’s Pseudepigrapha clearly established me as seventh on the list of divine angels. The Chronicles were quite clear, and therefore there shall be seven divine angels, and the children of Noah have spoken. The list in divine order shall be Michalax, Gabralax, Raphalax, Urilax, Ragulax, Phanulax and Saruvilax.’

‘If you say so,’ said Ragulax.

‘You have always been ambitious, dread Saruvilax,’ said Phanulax.

‘Don’t call me that. Now, how are we going to get our fame?’

‘I know. Why don’t we hold a conference,’ said Phanulax.

‘Aren’t we doing that now?’ queried Urilax.

‘No, I mean a conference of all the 7 Archangels. In Joniquay. We can sign autographs. It will be cool.’

Saruvilax held his forehead in frustration and said ‘Why me.’

‘Now listen,’ said Saruvilax. ‘We need something dramatic. Something memorable. Something epic.’

‘How about a movie. The 7 Divine Archangels,’ put in Urilax.

Saruvilax considered the idea. ‘Not a bad one. What’s the plot.’

‘Oh, I don’t know. We save the world from the dark lord. Something tragically epic. You know how they do them.’

‘Yes. Yes I do,’ responded Saruvilax. ‘I will think that idea over. Maybe write a plot.’

‘Hey, we can co-write, the three of us,’ responded Urilax. ‘It will be cool.’

‘Okely, Dokely,’ responded Phanulax.

‘Yes, I guess so,’ finished Saruvilax. ‘Then, I guess, that is the first move for our glory. An epic movie.’

‘And heaven will never be the same again,’ put in Urilax.

‘Amen to that,’ finished Phanulax.

‘Yes, Amen to that,’ put in Saruvilax, whose mind was on his glory.

 

THE END

 

‘The Power of the Equinox’

(Story Nine in the Equinox Paradigm Series)

 

Chapter One

 

Ragulax was masturbating. That was not surprising – Ragulax had often been called a bit of a wanker by his six esteemed Archangel brothers. And so, true to his name, the semen erupted onto his belly, he turned the shower on, washed it away, and went into his bedroom, to enjoy the rush which always came afterwards. Doralax – his woman – his twin – would no longer have sex with him. They did it often, usually, like rabbits. But she had gone off, to the edge of heaven, found an angel, and was fucking him hard, or so she claimed in her emails. Jealousy? Was she provoking him to jealousy? Who knew. Who cared. Wanking got the job done anyway.

 

Recently Ragulax had partaken of good news. An ancient mystery had been revealed by the Universal Spirit. The rankings of authority of the 7 Divine Archangels. Apparently, although it was all shrouded in a deep and mysterious past, Ragulax was the Firstborn of the 7 Divine Archangels, and thus represented the highest beacon of power in the Universal Realm of Heaven. Bloody good news. Perhaps he should use his influence on a young, nubile angel. Lure her into his den. Fuck HER brains out. Yeh. But whatever.

 

Saruvilax had sent him the script that morning. ‘The Power of the Equinox’ starring Marcus Lyant and Rebecca Lyant, with Koolda Smith and the 7 Divine Archangels. A Tragic romp with the demonic powers, with a cliff-hanger of an ending. It could prove fucking funny, and a hell of a time to film. He looked forward to it.

 

Other things were on his mind, especially finding another chick to relieve his masturbatory concerns, and thinking that, with his new found position of absolute charm, he would set out one of these Friday nights, find a nice club, find a nice babe, have a nice fuck. Sounded perfect.

 

 

Chapter Two

 

‘Melanie B. You are the sluttiest bitch of the spice attack. What do you think?’

‘Don’t call me a slut,’ said Melanie, and looked at the chalkboard. ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said in her fine Leeds accent. ‘I mean, Michalax is a great angel, and introducing with him is ok, but hasn’t it now been revealed that Ragulax is firstborn?’

Saruvilax looked at the chalkboard, rubbed out Michael’s name and wrote in Ragulax. Spice Attack had a role in the upcoming movie, and they were being asked for ideas about the new introductory scenes and endings for the movie.

 

Emma B spoke up. ‘Make Ragulax repenting of a recent gay encounter. That will get a laugh.’

‘Not a bad idea,’ responded Saruvilax thoughtfully.

‘Have him scratch his butt a lot,’ said Geri. ‘People always laugh at crude things. It is the way we are.’

‘Perfect’ responded Saruvilax, making the notes on the chalkboard.

‘Perhaps some VD concerns,’ suggested Victoria.

‘Right,’ nodded Saruvilax, scratching with the chalk on the board.

‘And debt concerns,’ finished Melanie C.

‘Rightey O,’ responded Saruviel. ‘Good ideas, girls.

 

 

 

Later on the girls were hanging around, and Ragulax had drifted in, chatting with Saruvilax, and was eyeing Melanie B.

 

‘Have you caught him looking,’ said Geri softly.

Melanie B said nothing.

‘He thinks your hot,’ said Emma.

Melanie B said nothing.

‘He probably has a good bank account figure,’ said Victoria.

Melanie B said nothing.

‘He could be a good shag,’ said Melanie C.

‘Good point,’ said Melanie B at last, and sidled over to Ragulax, who welcomed her warmly.

 

 

Chapter Three

 

‘You are a spunk, Mel B.’

‘You like to say that, don’t you Rags.’

‘But I mean it babe.’

‘Sure you do. I think, maybe, you just like a piece of ass, and thus the compliments.’

‘Don’t say that. You know I love you.’

‘Ha. Every bloke says that to a Spice Girl. We never stop hearing it.’

Raguel shot her a dejected glance, with apology written all over it, and she came over and gave him a hug.

‘Still, Ragulax, you are a good sort in your own way. A strange being – not a regular deity. Something weird about you, I think. Like the old days are still in you. The old ‘Angel’ ways.’

‘Some things never die, babe. Just the way I am. Let’s shag.’

She smiled. ‘Sure. But tell me this, won’t your twin get jealous? I am shagging her man after all.’

‘Doralax is currently being unfaithful,’ he said stoutly. ‘I don’t think I even need to care about any of her proud protestations. The bitch can screw herself.’

Melanie noted the heated expression in his eyes. Jealousy, she thought to herself.

 

They screwed for a while, and Ragulax went to the kitchen to get some juice. It was a hot night, and as he stared from the back porch out at Joniquay, Mel came and joined him.

‘You should call her.’

‘She’s a bitch,’ he responded.

‘I have a man, you know Rags. Deep down, our twin is the fundamental. Everyone knows that in the end. Sure, I can screw around from time to time. I do. But my bloke, Yomiel, is for me forever, in the end. I always go back to him.’

Ragulax stared at the city, thinking on her words. ‘Yes. Some things don’t change, Mel. I know that. The relationship between me and the goddess Doralax has been a rocky one for a long time. She usually does her own thing in the end, rather than committing. But, yes. We care for each other. I might call her a bitch. I might.’ He left off.

 

Melanie stared at the city, following his view, then turned to him. ‘You might call her a bitch?’

‘But I still love her,’ he finished. She nodded. Good for Ragulax. Good for him.

 

 

Chapter Four

 

‘Doralax. It’s me. Rags.’

‘What do you want?’

‘To see you babe.’

‘Ha. That’s a good one.’

‘I miss you.’

She softened. ‘Really? Your not just saying that?’

‘Sure. I miss you. We belong together.’

‘You’ve said that before.’

‘Fuck it. I’ve come to my senses. Seen the light. The Divine Firstborn angel of Infinite Glory realizes he needs his twin. Can’t live without you, I’m afraid.’

‘And If I come back. You’ll give me the attention you have lacked previously.’

‘Sure. A Rose a day if you like.’

She laughed. ‘Ha, very funny Rags. 3 days, and that will be that. I know you.’

‘Probably,’ he replied honestly.

‘Look, why do you really want me back? This is the way it is between us, isn’t it? This is the status quo? We do our stuff together, occasionally, and fuck off back to our own lives afterwards.’

‘Perhaps you are growing on me’, he said honestly.

There was silence on the phone, as if she was thinking over that point.

‘Growing on you?’ she finally said. ‘Your starting to appreciate me then?’

‘No. Just getting used to you.’

She was pissed at that, but gave him a break. ‘Well, getting used to your twin is a start, I suppose. The best of relationships start with familiarity.’

‘Exactly,’ he responded.

‘Is someone pushing you into this, Rags?’

‘There might be. A Spice Attack girl I have been shagging. Told me the twin is the biggest thing in the end. It struck me. Perhaps it’s true. Perhaps that is what works in the end.’

‘And you’d like to find out if that is true or not?’ she asked him.

‘I think so. I mean, don’t get me wrong Dorry. We have known each other forever. Since the beginning, I guess. We’ve been there for each other many times. I do love you, you know, but you have always been a sister with her own mind and will, and I’ve had to accept that. But perhaps it should be more now, you know. Perhaps we have had long enough to work out our differences. Perhaps, now, we should try and make it work.’

She didn’t respond straight away, but eventually spoke. ‘Look, I don’t know Rags. So bloody much is said about the twin thing both ways. Sure, I wouldn’t actually want to change from you, coz your great, but I don’t think we have to be man and woman together forever. I’m not sure if I want that. Do you? Really? Or is a spice girl who is making you think this?’

‘I. I don’t know,’ he responded.

‘Exactly,’ she said. ‘Look, thanks, but no thanks. Sure, I appreciate the offer, but it would have to be more than that Raguel. It would have to be you, in the end. It would have to be your own heart, your own decision. And deep, deep down, I think you know that is true. No Spice Girl can choose your eternal mate. It has to be dear old Ragulax.’

‘Your right – of course.’ He went silent. It was settled.

 

‘Well, you ok then Dorry? Everything’s fine?’

‘Mostly. Look, can’t talk now, and I appreciate the offer. You need to work those issues out for yourself, brother of mine. Get back to me if Raguel himself ever really means it.’ There was another voice he could hear speaking to her and she said ‘Bye’ and hung up.

 

He put the phone down, looked at the picture of his twin in his hand, and sighed. Wishful thinking, in reality. Nothing more than that. But, besides. She was right. It had been Melanie putting the thoughts in his mind.

 

He walked out the back, to the porch, sat down, picked up his unfinished juice, and sighed. Another day in heaven. A movie still to shoot. And a randy spice girl to fuck as much as possible while he was dating her. In the end, as they say, life went on. And issues like twins and romance could wait for another day, for Raguel was tired, needed some sleep, and perhaps a wank to put him to that sleep.

 

He finished his juice, retired inside, and after a suitable wank to a favourite porno, put to rest thoughts of Doralax being his hearts deepest answer, and dreamed happy dreams of Melanie naked, a number one at the box office, and an unfortunate spate of a particularly dastardly Venereal disease. Now where on earth did he get that, his dream self thought to itself, as he tossed and turned through another fateful nights adventures.

 

The End

 

 

The Equinox Completed

The Infinite Realm of Majesty was infinite. Perhaps that was an obvious way of saying it. Its scope, depth, and true majesty knew no limits, nor did its physical space or geography. It sat on a Discworld which went on in every direction for unlimited measure. In fact, so the Firstborn Archangel of the Infinite Realm of Majesty, Ragulax, assured everyone, God had told him quite precisely the realm was exactly that – Infinite.

And it was majestic – in God’s own words – truly majestic.

The purposes of the Equinox in God’s own plans were to teach the truths of the balance of nature, of good and bad, of hot and cold, of love and hate, and all degrees in between. Equinox explained the mystery of balance – harmonizing between dual forces – and the angel Melanie – Melanie Brown – a spice girl of quite vivacious personality – was God’s ultimate instrument in the purposes of the Equinox in the Realm of Infinite Majesty.

But it was a destiny unbeknownst to herself.

Ragulax was an unordinary angel, but was also markedly conservative in many ironic ways in opposition to his spirit of unordinariness. But, so he hoped, with a conservativeness which was truly expressive – if such a thing were possible.

Ragulax, having bedded the angel Melanie, was to father children later on through this angel who would become the powers of the Realm of Majesty. The Key Powers.

There were several monarchs of various new kingdoms which differing children would establish and, one by one, they would build up the centre – for in an everexpanding realm it was always the centre – and dominate the land ownership and dominate the kingdoms and hearts of the angels and men of God.

It was scaries passion. Scaries power. Scaries presence. She was a natural leader, and inspired within her offspring to the firstborn ruler of the world a passion and determination to go for broke and challenge all conventions in creation of your own glory.

And her messages to his and her offspring worked – and they prospered.

The completion of the Equinox was the completion of all things. It was harmonizing desire for growth, expansion and eternity, with the desire for sameness, stability and the unchanging finite. To master the equinox – to find the centrepoint – was to be in the centre of life, the centre of existence, were all flowed along an eternal pathway, yet all flowed with eternal stability and immovable faith in truth, life and self. And God, of course – the unchanging, unchangeable, eternal creator.

The Infinite Realm of Majesty was and is a work of the Most High God. It represents much of his glory, much of his design, much of his purpose. It sees its fulfilment in the fifthborn angel Raguel, but stands alone as a pinnacle of wisdom in its own right.

It is a creation of God.

It is loved by God.

It is a principle, a paradigm, a vision, a wisdom statement, a very principle and axiom of the divine thought.

And it is eternal.

And it is infinite.

And in it all things, ultimately, are as they should be, and all things remain in the heart of God, in the plan of God, in the wisdom of God, to be fulfilled in the fullness and goodness of God’s good and infinite time.

And all the angels shall say Amen.

THE END

 

The Equinoxxian Lifestyle Association

Saruvilaxx was in a pensive mood.  ‘Well, Kantrillaxx,’ said Saruvilaxx.  ‘What are we having for breakfast?’

‘Uranaxx,’ replied Kantrillaxx.

Saruvillaxx continued monitoring Joniquay news and, finally, raised his eyebrow and looked up.  ‘Uranaxx you say?  What is Uranaxx?’

‘A new development in breakfast cereal,’ replied Kantrillaxx.  ‘It is produced by the Association of Equinoxxian Lifestyles.  It is very delicious, and good for you.  And I have noticed, brother, the kgs have been adding up in recent years.  It is time to put you on a diet.’

‘I scoff at such things,’ replied Saruvillaxx, and returned his focus to the newspaper.

Time passed.

‘What does Uranaxx contain?’ asked Saruvillaxx, now finally biting.

‘Unicorn Urine,’ replied Kantrillaxx.

Saruvillaxx thought about that for a moment, and put down his newspaper.  ‘Unicorn Urine?  Such creatures exist?’

‘We have confirmed it,’ replied Kantrillaxx.  ‘The organization has contacted Equinoxxian Lifestyles, with a threatening letter of legal action unless they relinquished their bold statement on Unicorn Urine.  A team was sent out, though, and investigated the herd of Unicorn’s they claim to have been breeding.’

‘And the results?’ queried Saruvillaxx, eyebrow raised.

‘It is more than Zelzazon’s theority of Genetic Experimentations at work, I am afraid.  The creatures do appear to have a genuine horn, which has not been artificially implanted.  We are not sure of the origin, but a scripture was cited from the old testament which claimed they had always existed in antiquity, and sources were located in hidden places for the recovery of the said magical beast.’

‘Why their urine?’ asked Saruvillaxx.

‘Healing properties.  Very good for you, like ginseng.  It is also added into the liquid soft drinks the Association sells.’

‘Fascinating,’ replied Saruvillaxx.

‘Indeed,’ replied Kantrillaxx.

Time passed.

‘Bovine excrement, then,’ said Saruvillaxx.  ‘That is what we are eating today.’

‘As much bullshit as possible,’ replied Kantrillaxx.  ‘Oh, and the tooth fairy is visiting at nine.’

‘The times they are a changing,’ replied Saruvillax, and returned his focus to the actual news at hand.

The End

 

Clever Old Devil

‘Taylor Swift,’ thought Daniel.  ‘Hey, she’s actually attractive.

‘I don’t like you,’ replied Taylor the following day, when Daniel showed up at ‘Babylon Central Hotel’ were Taylor was staying.

‘You don’t like me?  But I’m a charming old devil,’ replied Daniel.

‘Exactly.  But I’m not sure about the charming.  Sleezy, I’m pretty sure, by all reports,’ replied Taylor.

‘That’s a lie.  I’ve only bedded about 5000 prostitutes in my life.  That is hardly sleezy,’ replied Daniel.

Taylor looked at Daniel Daly for a moment, jaw open, then coming to herself, closed her mouth.  ‘Go away Daniel Daly,’ she said, returning to her magazine.  ‘I am busy.’

Daniel looked at her, and decided he still thought she was cute, so sat down opposite her.

People came and went in the foyer of the hotel, and Taylor looked up occasionally, and Daniel was sitting there, playing on a handheld video game system, but when she looked around he would look up at her, and she frowned every time.

‘You dress well,’ said Daniel.

Taylor ignored him.

‘Your hair is done excellently,’ said Daniel.

Taylor ignored him.

‘I bet you are good in bed,’ said Daniel.

Taylor’s jaw dropped open once more, and she stared at him in unbelief for a moment, but, again, closed it, looked at him with a fierce look, and returned her focus to her magazine.

Finally Melanie B walked in.  ‘Hey, Dan,’ she said.  ‘Didn’t expect to see you here,’ as she sat down next to Taylor.

‘You know this fowl cretin?’ Taylor asked Melanie.  ‘He bothers me tremendously.’

Melanie looked at Daniel and looked at Taylor, making the connection.  ‘He’s after your sugar, honey,’ said Melanie.

‘I have sugar in my room,’ said Taylor innocently.  ‘He can borrow some if he wants.’  Melanie looked at Taylor, who looked back, and then the cog finally turned over in her mind, and she focused on Daniel, again with the fierce look, and said ‘You are a beast!  You are a fowl beast!  You just want a piece of Taylor Swift’s tush.  The lowest common denominator interests you.  Truly pathetic.’

‘You are very attractive,’ replied Daniel.  ‘I am sure it would be a nice ass to spank.’

‘Hoh,’ said Taylor.

‘I can use my belt,’ said Daniel.  ‘And we can have a lot of fun.’

Taylor’s mouth close, and a more serious look came over her face.  ‘How do you know this cretinous toad?’ Taylor asked Melanie.

‘He’s an old devil from way back,’ replied Melanie.

‘Yes,’ replied Taylor, looking at Daniel.  ‘He resembles a devil.’  Daniel just smiled back, feigning innocence.

‘He thinks he is a talented writer,’ said Melanie.  ‘Chronicles of the Children of Destiny, or some such title.  I forget what it is called.’

‘I’m an occasional best seller,’ stated Daniel.  ‘Everyone knows me.’

‘The name rings a vague bell,’ said Taylor.  ‘Only vague, though.’

‘He likes you,’ said Melanie.  ‘He doesn’t like everyone.  Best defend our honour and sort this man out, or Eve might complain.’

‘Mmm,’ said Taylor, looking at Daniel.

Daniel took his opportunity, stood, and walked over to Taylor, and extended his hand.  ‘Come fair maiden.  Let us dine at the restaurant in this fine hostel.’

Taylor looked up at Mr Daly.  He did look handsome, actually.  She took his hand, and he kissed it, and they went off, and had dinner.  And Melanie B watched from a distant, shaking her head.  ‘Clever old Devil, Mr Daly,’ she said.  ‘Clever old Devil.’

The End

 

Life with David II

‘David Rothchild,’ said Melanie B.  ‘The man is thick as a brick.  He lacks insight in the heart of a woman.’

‘Oh, he’s ok,’ said Taylor.  ‘You just need to understand his confusing image of eternity at this point.  He doesn’t understand who he is anymore.  He thinks he’s a savior of love divine at times, and then he fucks off and messes around with pornography and wanks to paper girlfriends.  And you know what he does?  He kisses each of his porno paper girlfriends and says ‘I love you bitch.  I want to do you bitch.  Fuck me bitch.’  He’s a very confused member of the Rothchild family.’

‘That is why he is thick as a brick.  Lost sight on the real thing.  His system of life is running down I think.  Back to more base behavior by the looks of it,’ said Melanie.

‘Then you go save the idiot,’ suggested Taylor.

Melanie looked squarely at Taylor, considering that.  She was affectionate towards David.  Perhaps time to right his bad behaviours.  She looked him up.

‘David,’ she said on her mobile.  ‘You still have this number.’

‘Fuck.  I’ve had it forever, bitch,’ said David.

‘Bitch?’ queried Melanie.  ‘You have hardened David.’

‘I’m nobody’s fucking bitch anymore,’ replied David.  ‘I fuck my paper girlfriends.  At least the bitches are faithful. Real women?  Faithless as fuck. Give me a pile of porno and I’ll marry them.  I’m considering getting the law changed so we can marry our favourite porn magazines. Totally progaysive theology.  Fuck the world,’ prided David.

‘And your paper girlfriends,’ considered Melanie. ‘Well, if that is what gets you off Rothchild, fair enough.’

Mr Daly was hanging around Melanie the following afternoon.  ‘Yeh, he fucks em.  Paper bitches.  He’s got thousands of them.  Big stud he wants to be at Redtube one day.  It’s pre-requisite wanking they require of him. He’s quite good at his job now.  Wanking is all the rage in Israel.  He’s the master wanker they call him.  No bigger wanker than David Rotchild.’

Melanie looked at Daniel.  ‘You’re enjoying the situation, aren’t you?’

‘Davy boy will work it out in time,’ replied Daniel.  ‘He has shit to get off his chest.’

‘Quite apparently,’ replied Melanie.  A very strange situation indeed.

The End

 

Stuck in Hull II

David Rothchild examined the Hull Daily Mail.  ‘It appears, Daniel, that the Hull City Tigers have won their last 15 matches.  Does that please you?’

Daniel looked at David.  ‘Success is a long term thing.  Flashes in the pan of streaks of 15 are great, but maintenance is a better option.  Keeping up the pace with strength.  That is how it is done.  The foundations need to be firm, strong and secure.  You don’t build glory with a quick build.’

‘Right,’ said David, and returned his focus to the newspaper.  ‘So what you are saying is that Zion should be built slowly.’

‘You’d be a typical wannabe if you didn’t take your time, plan carefully, re-examine impact statements from time to time, and cogitate the whole damn project,’ said Daniel.

‘Right,’ replied David.  ‘Any suggestions for how to make Zion impact well for the world?’

‘A priest is a priest is a priest is a priest.  Priests are holy.  A masturbating machine of a priest is not quite what they are looking for, schmuck.  A love guru who redefines the world with his gentle love is not quite what they are looking for dickweed.’

‘What are they looking for?’ asked David.

Daniel left the room.  15 minutes he returned with a copy of the JPS Torah.  ‘Study it.  Learn it.  Remember it.  Then build it,’ said Daniel.  ‘First things first buster.’

‘Oh,’ replied David.  ‘I guess I get the point.’

Daniel remained in Hull for a few more weeks, as David slowly repented of some of his wanking agenda, and focused again on Torah. The brain in Mr Rothchild had started calming down a bit and he was no longer so arrogant that he would always point the finger back at Mr Daly and assume David Rothchild knew it all.  They always got frikking defensive.  They always thought they knew they were doing. They always thought they were right, and had all the answers.  They pissed mankind off from generation to generation, because they were always up themselves, irrebukable, and just too damn proud to learn from anyone else.  Fucktards in the end.  A really fucked up Abrahamic seed.  Not much cop, not really worth bothering with, too many resources needed to be applied to get them to get the point they were only average at what they did with the text anyway, and were not prepared to humble themselves and listen to the experts.  Caught up in pride of their own so called intellectual achievements.  They hadn’t worked out the rest of the world already knew how to do things, and they didn’t really appreciate show ponies who wanted to brag about their magnificent contributions.  They hadn’t worked out the truth yet.

The End